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Emmigrating to another country

Emmigrating to another country PXrKp
Everyday are thousands of people emigrating to another country. The reasons could be different for each person and I will try to explain my point of view in this essay about it. In my opinion, the principal motivation to immigrate is a desire to a better life and with this I mean a safer place to live, jobs with higher salary and a good medical service. Probably, this sounds simple but for people who lives in a country with a poor development or a country with a war inside of it is pretty
Everyday are thousands of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
emigrating to another country. The reasons could be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
for each person and I will try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
my point of view in this essay about it.

In my opinion, the principal motivation to immigrate is a desire to a better life and with this I mean a safer place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
, jobs with higher salary and a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
medical service.
Probably
, this sounds simple
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
Did you mean "live"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'people' should be used.
lives
in a country with a poor development or a country with a war
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "inside".
inside of
it is pretty
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IELTS essay Emmigrating to another country

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
92 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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