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Do you think most teenagers have a healthy lifestyle?

Do you think most teenagers have a healthy lifestyle? bOEpQ
Nowadays we could hear or read a lot about a healthy lifestyle. It is a important part of our life. However, only small percentage of teenagers really care about a healthy lifestyle, I would say. In this essay I will explain my view and give few examples. First of all, as a technology increased sharply over a few dacedes, most teenagers have been using many technical equipments such as phones, computers, tablets, and other gadgets. So young teenagers are spending a lot of time next to gadgets, they play computer games, or use social media, and they have got less time to do physical exersises. I would like to add eating healthy foods too. It is not a suprise to enyone, eating healthy food is tided strongly with healthly lifestyle. Organic foods are benifatial for our body and the most important side of being healthy. Dispite that facts, major part of teenagers do not fallow the rule of eating organic foods. I think they usually prefer fast-foods as its easy to make, and cheaper than natural products. But it bad affect to teenagers boody. In conclusion, most teenagers don't have a healthy lifestyle, as they are less likely to do exercises, and not avoiding to eat fast-foods, those all are serious danger to indivuduals health.
Nowadays we could hear or read a lot about a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
. It is
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part of our life.
However
,
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only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
really
care about a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
, I would say. In this essay I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
my view and give few examples.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, as a technology increased
sharply
over a few
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dacedes
, most
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teenagers
have been using
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
technical equipments such as phones, computers, tablets, and other gadgets.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
young
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teenagers
are spending
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time
next
to gadgets, they play computer games, or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
social media, and they have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
less time to do physical
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exersises
.

I would like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
eating
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healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
too. It is not a
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suprise
to
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enyone
, eating
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healthy
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food
is tided
strongly
with
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healthly
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lifestyle
. Organic
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foods
are
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benifatial
for our body and the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
side of being
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healthy
.
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Dispite
that facts, major part of
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teenagers
do not fallow the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
of eating organic
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foods
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
they
usually
prefer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-foods as its easy to
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make
, and cheaper than natural products.
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But
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it
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bad
affect to
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teenagers
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boody
.

In conclusion
, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
don't have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
, as they are less likely to do exercises, and not
The verb 'avoiding' is used with the gerund form: "avoiding eating".
avoiding to eat
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-foods, those all are serious
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danger
to
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indivuduals
health.
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IELTS essay Do you think most teenagers have a healthy lifestyle?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
215 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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