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effects of sports on health

effects of sports on health 1ArAL
Public health is one of the most important issues to improve, in order to maintain the continuity of humans. Many opine that public health is closely related to sports facilities, however others believe that there are many other more facilities to be supported, for the sake of improving public health. I strongly aver that health, wellness and, sports are strongly coherent to each others. Many studies supports that exercise is the most effective medicine in reducing the percentage of suffering from chronic diseases, or even curing from diseases in many other cases. For example, a daily walk would lower the possibility of suffering from a cardiopulmonary problem, hyperlipidemia, hypertension, and many other chronic diseases which may devastate you whole life. Many studies show that exercise enhance the production of dopamine, and decrease the release of cortisol, which will positively affect your mood, relief stress. Other suggest that physical activity will help in strengthening the bones, which will decrease the chance of osteoporosis. Many people believe that building hospitals, educative centers, awareness campaigns, has more positive effects on health, than sport facilities. There is a consensus that building a well-equipped hospital will increase the survival rate of a patient who is already suffering from chronic disease due to inactivity in most of the scenarios. Increasing awareness campaigns, helping people, educating them will with no doubts enhance public health, but won't have any long term effects on preventing any chronic disease. The fact that there is a positive relationship between sports, and health in slowly overwhelming the whole world, despite of little percentages who still don't believe in the effects of sports. In my point of view, governments must highly support sport facilities to persuade people to get engaged with them.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
is one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
issues to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
, in order to maintain the continuity of humans.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
opine that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
is
closely
related to
The verb after "to" should be in the base form: "sport".
sports
facilities,
however
others believe that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
more facilities to
be supported
, for the sake of improving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. I
strongly
aver that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
, wellness and,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are
strongly
coherent to each
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "other"?
others
.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
studies supports that exercise is the most effective medicine in reducing the percentage of suffering from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
, or even
The usual collocation for "curing" is "of" not "". Did you mean "curing of"?
curing from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
cases.
For example
, a daily walk would lower the possibility of suffering from a cardiopulmonary problem, hyperlipidemia, hypertension, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
which may devastate you whole life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
studies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that exercise enhance the production of dopamine, and decrease the release of cortisol, which will
positively
affect your mood, relief
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Other
suggest that physical activity will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in strengthening the bones, which will decrease the chance of osteoporosis.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that building hospitals, educative centers, awareness campaigns, has more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
, than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
facilities. There is a consensus that building a well-equipped hospital will increase the survival rate of a patient who is already suffering from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
due to inactivity in most of the scenarios. Increasing awareness campaigns, helping
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, educating them will with no doubts enhance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
won't have any long term effects on preventing any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chronic
disease.

The fact that there is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
relationship between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
in
slowly
overwhelming the whole world,
Did you mean "despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
despite of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
percentages who
still
don't believe in the effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. In my point of view,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
highly
support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
facilities to persuade
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
engaged with them.
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IELTS essay effects of sports on health

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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