Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Recently, there are many people tried to suggest adults to find a job during period of time between school and university. There are some benefits and negative effects as well if young people follow that suggestion.

Recently, there are many people tried to suggest adults to find a job during period of time between school and university. There are some benefits and negative effects as well if young people follow that suggestion. 2RMxo
There are two benefits for young people who decided to take a job after graduated from school. Firstly, they will get new experience in work life and it make them to be wisely person. It is not easy to face the atmosphere of job life which is full of stress from the leader and also the circle that contain lot of different character and purpose. They should adapt with that situation and learn how to stand in the right place in different condition and deal with others. That various of condition can built their caracter and treat them to choose the right things. Secondly, they will earn their own money. People who have a job can get salery and it can help their family. They will be independent people that make their own money and do not depand on their parents. Besides, They can save their money from ther allowence to study in a university. On the other hand, there are two drawbacks that will probably faced by adults who do this. The first one is they get less allowence. It is because they haven’t have specific skills that important to a company or the place that they work for. The result of that, they just get common job in basic skills that almost all of people can do that and that is the reason why they get less salery. The second one is they will be late to get degree in a university that can used to apply higher position of job. In the end, they need more time to get professional job that young people can get from college compered with others who directly go to university after graduated from school. All in all, take a job for several years among school and university will affect to young people in negative or positive way. However, it depend to adults condition and situation when they start to do that.
There are two benefits for young
people
who
decided to take a
job
after graduated from school.
Firstly
, they will
get
new experience in work life and it
make
them to be
wisely
person. It is not easy to face the atmosphere of
job
life which is full of
stress
from the leader and
also
the circle that contain lot of
different
character and purpose. They should adapt with that situation and learn how to stand in the right place in
different
condition and deal with others. That various of condition can built their
caracter
and treat them to choose the right things.
Secondly
, they will earn their
own
money.
People
who
have a
job
can
get
salery
and it can
help
their family. They will be independent
people
that
make
their
own
money and do not
depand
on their parents.
Besides
, They can save their money from
ther
allowence
to study in a university.

On the other hand
, there are two drawbacks that will
probably
faced
by adults
who
do this. The
first
one is they
get
less
allowence
. It is
because
they
haven’t have
specific
skills
that
important
to a
company
or the place that they work for. The result of that, they
just
get
common
job
in basic
skills
that almost all of
people
can do that and
that is
the reason why they
get
less
salery
. The second one is they will be late to
get
degree in a university that can
used
to apply higher position of
job
. In the
end
, they need more time to
get
professional
job
that young
people
can
get
from college
compered
with others
who
directly
go to university after graduated from school.

All in all, take a
job
for several years among school and university will affect to young
people
in
negative
or
positive
way.
However
, it
depend
to adults condition and situation when they
start
to do that.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Recently, there are many people tried to suggest adults to find a job during period of time between school and university. There are some benefits and negative effects as well if young people follow that suggestion.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
320 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts