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Education ministry encourages greener year-start ceremonies

Education ministry encourages greener year-start ceremonies GPGo
• The Ministry of Education and Training (MOET) has encouraged schools not to release balloons on their academic year. • The move followed a recent letter sent by Nguyen Nguyet Linh, a sixth-grader of Marie Curie Secondary School in Hanoi, to more than 40 local schools to call for the end of balloons releases at their opening ceremonies of the new school year. • Her letter has helped to contribute to raising awareness about the consequences of plastic waste. Many schools see the balloon release as a common way to brighten up the new school year’s opening ceremony. But almost no one thinks of the impact on the environment. • Following Linh’s call, Marie Curie and other school in Hanoi have no longer used plastic wrap on textbooks. • Nguyen Quoc Binh, headmaster of Le Quy Don Secondary and High School in Hanoi, said that the school had called on students not to use plastic for textbook wrap last academic school year. This year, the school was keen to continue to campaign.
• The Ministry of Education and Training (MOET) has encouraged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
not to release balloons on their academic year.

• The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
followed a recent letter
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sent
by Nguyen
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Nguyet
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Linh
, a sixth-grader of Marie Curie Secondary
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School
in Hanoi, to more than 40 local
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schools
to call for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of balloons releases at their opening ceremonies of the new
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school
year.

• Her letter has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
to contribute to raising awareness about the consequences of plastic waste.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
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schools
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the balloon release as a common way to brighten up the new
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school
year’s opening ceremony.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
almost no one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
of the impact on the environment.

• Following
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Linh
’s call, Marie Curie and other
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school
in Hanoi have no longer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
plastic wrap on textbooks.

• Nguyen
Possible spelling mistake found.
Quoc
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Binh
, headmaster of Le
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Quy
Don Secondary and High
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School
in Hanoi, said that the
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school
had called on students not to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
plastic for textbook wrap last academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
year. This year, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
was keen to continue to campaign.
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IELTS essay Education ministry encourages greener year-start ceremonies

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
167 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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