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Education is the most powerful weapon used to change the world. Do you agree or disagree?

Education is the most powerful weapon used to change the world. N9OW
Education has been proving itself a best armature to change the world, I completely agree with this opinion. This essay will argue that why formal and informal education have been the essence of change ranging from finding a life changing medicine to achieve freedom from invaders. Formal Education could lift up hall society socially and economically. Being institutionally educated enhances the chance to find a job with higher salary which also increases one’s spending capacity. By this way person can contribute to economy. Not only economically, science, medicine and technology which are gift of education have been changing the human lives since centuries. Vaccination for various deadly diseases, Space travel and internet are results of numerous hours of education of Scientist in their respective fields. As mentioned above, mankind couldn’t have achieved the growth which we have today without methodical education. Informal education proved itself as beneficial as formal one. Informal education has major impact when humans take collective decision. Non institutional education can inform and aware people about their rights and duties. For instance, in many nonprofit organizations which work for environment have achieved their ecological goals through volunteers who educate common public to stop acting irresponsibly towards environment. Other example is freedom movement of India, during which Freedom fighters fought to British invaders and availed freedom with the help of whole Indian public by awakening those exploiting acts of British government and realizing them their rights. That’s why informal education is also beneficial as formal education and has power to change the whole scenario. To conclude, education is mighty tool to transform the world. I strongly believe that while formal education helps humans to gain higher socio-economic status and Science and technological benefits, through Informal educations many societies have bettered their social and ecological condition. Hence, education is magnificent tool to change the world.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
has been proving itself
Use "the" with the superlative.
a
best armature to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
the world, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this opinion. This essay will argue that why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
formal
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
informal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
have been the essence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
ranging from finding a life changing medicine to achieve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
from invaders.

Formal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
could
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "lift".
lift up
hall society
socially
and
economically
. Being
institutionally
educated enhances the chance to find a job with higher salary which
also
increases one’s spending capacity. By this way person can contribute to economy. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
economically
, science, medicine and technology which are gift of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
have been changing the human
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
since centuries. Vaccination for various deadly diseases, Space travel and internet are results of numerous hours of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
of Scientist in their respective fields. As mentioned above, mankind couldn’t have achieved the growth which we have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
without methodical education.

Informal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
proved itself as beneficial as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
formal
one.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Informal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
has major impact when humans take collective decision.
It appears that a hyphen is missing.
Non institutional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
can inform and aware
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
about their rights and duties.
For instance
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
nonprofit organizations which work for environment have achieved their ecological goals through volunteers who educate common public to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
acting
irresponsibly
towards environment. Other example is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
movement of India, during which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Freedom
fighters fought to British invaders and availed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of whole Indian public by awakening those exploiting acts of British
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and realizing them their rights. That’s why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
informal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is
also
beneficial as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
formal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and has power to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
the whole scenario.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is mighty tool to transform the world. I
strongly
believe that while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
formal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
humans to gain higher
Possible spelling mistake found.
socio-economic
status and Science and technological benefits, through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Informal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
societies have bettered their social and ecological condition.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is magnificent tool to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
the world.
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IELTS essay Education is the most powerful weapon used to change the world.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
306 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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