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Educating school students on the consequences of carrying out a crime has long been a contentious issue

Educating school students on the consequences of carrying out a crime has long been a contentious issue 8Lbbx
Educating school students on the consequences of carrying out a crime has long been a contentious issue. There is a common belief that talks by ex-prisoners should be held at school to inform students of the threat to society when a crime is committed. While I accept that this practice is beneficial in a few ways, I believe there are many better methods to educate students about the dangers ofcrimes. There are certain benefits of having reformed criminals talking to students about the hazards that are (1) associated with crime. The most obvious benefit is that students may learn from those who truly understand about crime. Those who (2) committed a crime have likely (3) gathered knowledge about the dangers of crime for the victims, not only from their own offenses but also from communication with other criminals. In addition, this method may also educate students about the threat to the offenders themselves when they commit a crime. To explain, ex-prisoners are those who have (4) undergone a long process of (5) imprisonment and (6) rehabilitation, so their life-stories are often a great source of real- life experience of not only what prisoners are deprived of but also how (7) remorseful they feel. However, I am convinced that there are better solutions to teach students about the negative effects of partaking in criminal activity. The most viable measure may be to introduce (8) criminology as a subject at school. While the life-stories of ex-prisoners are often biased, criminology knowledge is based on empirical data and research and as such, tends to be more reliable than anecdotal evidence. With this method, students can learn all the necessary knowledge about crime, including the dangers of it, through (9) the lens of science and therefore have a (10) holistic view on crime and the associated dangers. Another useful measure could be to film the harsh daily lives of prisoners and show it to school students. Notwithstanding the benefits of giving talks, films with vivid imagery can be much more visually attractive and thus more effective in informing students of the harsh reality of life in (11) incarceration. To conclude, I am of the opinion that although talks by ex-prisoners may keep students informed of the dangers of carrying out a crime, there are stronger measures such as the introduction of criminology as a school subject.
Educating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
on the consequences of carrying out a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
has long been a contentious issue. There is a common belief that talks by ex-prisoners should
be held
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
to inform
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
of the threat to society when a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
is committed
. While I accept that this practice is beneficial in a few ways, I believe there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
better methods to educate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dangers
Possible spelling mistake found.
ofcrimes
.

There are certain benefits of having reformed criminals talking to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
about the hazards that are

(1) associated with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
. The most obvious benefit is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
may learn from those who
truly
understand about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
. Those who (2) committed a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
have likely (3) gathered knowledge about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dangers
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
for the victims, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
from their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
offenses
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
from communication with other criminals.
In addition
, this method may
also
educate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
about the threat to the offenders themselves when they commit a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
, ex-prisoners are those who have (4) undergone a long process of (5) imprisonment and (6) rehabilitation,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
their life-stories are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
a great source of real- life experience of not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
what prisoners
are deprived
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
how (7) remorseful they feel.

However
, I
am convinced
that there are better solutions to teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
about the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects of partaking in criminal activity. The most viable measure may be to introduce (8) criminology as a subject at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. While the life-stories of ex-prisoners are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
biased, criminology knowledge
is based
on empirical data and research and as such, tends to be more reliable than anecdotal evidence. With this method,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can learn all the necessary knowledge about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
, including the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dangers
of it, through

(9) the lens of science and
therefore
have a (10) holistic view on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
and the associated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dangers
. Another useful measure could be to film the harsh daily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of prisoners and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
it to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. Notwithstanding the benefits of giving talks, films with vivid imagery can be much more
visually
attractive and
thus
more effective in informing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
of the harsh reality of life in (11) incarceration.

To conclude
, I am of the opinion that although talks by ex-prisoners may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
informed of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dangers
of carrying out a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
, there are stronger measures such as the introduction of criminology as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
subject.
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IELTS essay Educating school students on the consequences of carrying out a crime has long been a contentious issue

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
392 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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