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During the Covid 19 pandemic, some people stop working to avoid the spread of the virus while others feel like they shouldn’t stop working for economic reasons .Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Use examples and explanation from your own knowledge to support your position .

During the Covid 19 pandemic, some people stop working to avoid the spread of the virus while others feel like they shouldn’t stop working for economic reasons. Use examples and explanation from your own knowledge to support your position. VllM7
Human beings are those who have full of duties and responsibilities such as living matter, shelter, financial, food health and so on. To those who are really busy, one pandemic came since last year and it has been over one year that people can’t stay in their ordinary lives and need to be cautious of everything. This pandemic is called Covid 19. First, people thought that it could be enough by wearing mask, washing hands and social distance. However, there were lots of patients found everyday and there were also new death cases in every countries. According to the death cases, the governments of most of the countries did lockdowns in order to reduce the daily new cases. As a result, there were less patients and it was able to control to some extent. Since covid is a pandemic disease, it is impossible to make it disappear from the world. Therefore, instead of avoiding going outside, it is better to stay by following the cautions that are prescribed by the World Health Organization. There are many reasons that people had better go outside than stay home. For instance, money is the basic need to make living and staying home is always helpful to make money. Only some of the jobs are convenient to work from home but not all. Physical workers like builders, cleaners, drivers and so on are the ones who must use strength to earn money. Even though these workers would like to stay at home being afraid of that fatal disease, they still need to go out for their family. On the other hand, there might be some elite who can live in the spotless mansion without worrying about money. Such people may have enough money to solve most of all the problems and they would be inside than outside. Overall, it is dangerous to go outside and work at risk. Despite the fact that, coins are the main reason to take such risky life. In my opinion, going outside or not depends on what people need for their lives. As it is difficult for money people to work from home, researchers should find the vaccination as quick as they can and the government of all countries around the world should implement the projects for people to get vaccination sooner or later so that there will be no more worries about Covid 19 pandemic.
Human beings are those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have full of duties and responsibilities such as living matter, shelter, financial, food health and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. To those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are
really
busy, one pandemic came since last year and it has been over one year that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can’t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stay
in their ordinary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to be cautious of everything. This pandemic
is called
Did you mean "COVID-19" or the alternative spelling "Covid-19" (= coronavirus)?
Covid 19
.

First
,
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that it could be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
by wearing mask, washing hands and social distance.
However
, there were lots of patients found
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
and there were
also
new death cases in every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "country"?
countries
. According to the death cases, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
of most of the countries did lockdowns in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the daily new cases.
As a result
, there were
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun patients is countable.
less
patients and it was able to control to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent. Since
Did you mean "COVID-19" or the alternative spelling "Covid-19" (= coronavirus)?
covid
is a pandemic disease, it is impossible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it disappear from the world.

Therefore
,
instead
of avoiding going
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outside
, it is better to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stay
by following the cautions that
are prescribed
by the World Health Organization. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
had better go
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outside
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stay
home.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is the basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
living and staying home is always helpful to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
jobs are convenient to work from home
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not all. Physical workers like builders, cleaners, drivers and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on are the ones
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
strength to earn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
Even though
these workers would like to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stay
at home being afraid of that fatal disease, they
still
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to go out for their family.

On the other hand
, there might be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
elite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the spotless mansion without worrying about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. Such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to solve most of all the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
problems and
they would be
Use "insider" to make a comparison with this adjective.
inside
than outside.

Overall
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
to go
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outside
and work at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
. Despite the fact that, coins are the main reason to take such risky life. In my opinion, going
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outside
or not depends on what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. As it is difficult for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to work from home, researchers should find the vaccination as quick as they can and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
of all countries around the world should implement the projects for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
vaccination sooner or later
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that there will be no more worries about
Did you mean "COVID-19" or the alternative spelling "Covid-19" (= coronavirus)?
Covid 19
pandemic.
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IELTS essay During the Covid 19 pandemic, some people stop working to avoid the spread of the virus while others feel like they shouldn’t stop working for economic reasons. Use examples and explanation from your own knowledge to support your position.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
397 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
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    One main idea per paragraph
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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