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Due to the rapid development and expansion of supermarkets in some countries many small, local businesses are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local businesses will bring about the death of local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Due to the rapid development and expansion of supermarkets in some countries many small, local businesses are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local businesses will bring about the death of local communities. KJnw
Nowadays, in many nations number of supermarkets are increasing at alarming rate with quick enhancements and domestic shops are facing difficulties in survival. Here, many individuals believe that extinct of these stores will cause the passing of neighborhood societies. I completely agree with this mentioned statement about the end of local businesses because of increase in supermarkets. This essay will discuss my viewpoints in a detailed manner along with valid examples. Firstly, why supermarkets are becoming more popular across the world? Especially, it is a place where numerous items are available with different local and international brands. In this context, many people are preferring super mall where they are more comfortable to select their interested goods rather than local stores. Also, another important factor they are saving their precious time by visiting one supermarket. For Example, Reliance digital and DMart are the best markets where all kinds of groceries, foods items, clothing and useful household items are available. On the other hand, another interesting fact about minimarket as priority by ordinary public is physical experience and discounts. Moreover, they can touch and see the complete details of the product such as manufacture date and expiry date whereas same facilities are not be seen in local stores. In fact, supermarkets offer huge discounts on each product compared to neighbor shops. For Instance, big shopping centers such as Lifestyle grabs customer attention by offering extra discount tags on individual items and customers also more reliable towards this. In conclusion, I totally agree that supermarkets are increasing in number by placing all items under one roof along with offers on that products which leads to extension of local shops in future one can witness the local markets very rarely.
Nowadays, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
nations number of supermarkets are increasing at alarming rate with quick enhancements and domestic shops are facing difficulties in survival. Here,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals believe that extinct of these stores will cause the passing of neighborhood societies. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this mentioned statement about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
businesses
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of increase in supermarkets. This essay will discuss my viewpoints
Consider replacing "in a detailed manner" with the adverb for "detailed"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a detailed manner
along with valid examples.

Firstly
, why supermarkets are becoming more popular across the world?
Especially
, it is a place where numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
are available with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
and international brands. In this context,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
The verb 'preferring' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
are preferring
super mall where they are more comfortable to select their interested
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
stores.
Also
, another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factor they are saving their precious time by visiting one supermarket.
For Example
, Reliance digital and
Possible spelling mistake found.
DMart
are the best markets where all kinds of groceries, foods
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
, clothing and useful household
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
are available.

On the other hand
, another interesting fact about
Possible spelling mistake found.
minimarket
as priority by ordinary public is physical experience and discounts.
Moreover
, they can touch and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the complete
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
of the product such as manufacture date and expiry date whereas same facilities are not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
stores. In fact, supermarkets offer huge discounts on each product compared to neighbor shops.
For Instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
shopping centers such as Lifestyle grabs customer attention by offering extra discount tags on individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
and customers
also
more reliable towards this.

In conclusion
, I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that supermarkets are increasing in number by placing all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
under one roof along with offers on that products which leads to extension of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
shops in future one can witness the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
markets
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
The adverb 'rarely' is usually not used at the end of a sentence.
rarely
.
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IELTS essay Due to the rapid development and expansion of supermarkets in some countries many small, local businesses are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local businesses will bring about the death of local communities.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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