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In some countries it is thought advisable that children begin formal education at four years old, while in others they do not have to start school until they are seven or eight. How far do you agree with either of these views?

In some countries it is thought advisable that children begin formal education at four years old, while in others they do not have to start school until they are seven or eight. How far do you agree with either of these views? pg5D
education as a whole is one of the most important things in every individual's life. That's why to begin formal education earlier for children makes him more knowledgeable and creates a big package in his brain. While the other view looks at this movement as a wrong turn, because according to them, this may lead the children to be more isolated and lonely. In my opinion, the children should be surrounded by their parents as much as possible, especially in their age. On the first hand, as we said early, the first view has seen this as a big opportunity to the child to enroll into the studies life and learn more skills much as he/she can. For example, children who starting their formal education early build a big knowledge and that led them to a good opportunity to become a good student in the future. Further, beginning the education at four years old, formulate the child to be more responsible in his life in the future. Moreover, push the child to start his formal education early, help the government to decrease the level of ignorance among the society, and led the country to be more developed. On the other hand, the other views have seen the earlier education for children as a mistake made by the parents. Consequently, these views have seen that children should stay with their parents as much as possible to become closer to them. For instance, according to many statistics, children who were surrounded more by their guardians, become more emotional and more social among their community. In contrast, children who weren't surrounded by their families have become more isolated and violated by others, and also less social through their surroundings. In last, as we said above, and among all these aspects, I think that children must be more surrounded by their families as much as they can. Because as we said early, this increases slightly the level of mercy and emotions inside him. In my opinion, the parents should take this into consideration and try to apply it in their life.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
education
as a whole is one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
things in every individual's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. That's why to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
formal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
earlier for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
him more knowledgeable and creates a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
package in his brain. While the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
looks at this movement as a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
turn,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
according to them, this may lead the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to be more isolated and lonely. In my opinion, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
surrounded
by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
as possible,
especially
in their age.

On the
first
hand, as we said
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
, the
first
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view
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
this as a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
opportunity to the child to enroll into the studies
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and learn more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
as he/she can.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who starting their formal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
build a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
knowledge and that led them to a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
opportunity to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
student in the future.
Further
, beginning the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
at four years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
, formulate the child to be more responsible in his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in the future.
Moreover
, push the child to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
his formal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to decrease the level of ignorance among the society, and led the country to be more developed.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
views
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
the earlier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
as a mistake made by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
Consequently
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
views
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should stay with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
as possible to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
closer to them.
For instance
, according to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
statistics,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
surrounded
more by their guardians,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
more emotional and more social among their community.
In contrast
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who weren't
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
surrounded
by their families have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
more isolated and violated by others, and
also
less social through their surroundings.

In last, as we said above, and among all these aspects, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
surrounded
by their families as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
as they can.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
as we said
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
, this increases
slightly
the level of mercy and emotions inside him. In my opinion, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should take this into consideration and try to apply it in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
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IELTS essay In some countries it is thought advisable that children begin formal education at four years old, while in others they do not have to start school until they are seven or eight. How far do you agree with either of these views?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
347 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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