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Drugs should be legalized. Do you agree or disagree?

Drugs should be legalized. Do you agree or disagree? wxN53
Drugs represent an extremely dangerous thing. They have caused many deaths. Some drugs are very useful in medicine and in curing some dreadful deceases. Drugs should never be legalized because of several reasons. Firstly, as I've said drugs are opiums that cause unnatural behavior in people. Some drugs are light, while others are deadly right away. Many deaths around the world occur because of them. Most drugs aren't allowed in the world because of the dangerous consequences they produce. Side effects are terrifying. In addition, there is a lot of crime happening due drug use. Many addicts steal just so they can do drugs. Drugs are being introduced to our kids as well. If drugs were to get legalized an enormous number of people would die. The world would became a literal anarchy. There would be haos everywhere. People just lose their minds when they take these opiums. However, drugs can also be useful. In medicine many patients are being cured using a variety of drugs. But still, those positive effects can not compare with the more significant number of dangerous effects. All in all, drugs shouldn't be legalized because of many negative effects. Drugs should be used only for medical reasons.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Drugs
represent an
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
thing. They have caused
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
deaths.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
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drugs
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
useful in medicine and in curing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
dreadful deceases.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Drugs
should never
be legalized
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of several reasons.

Firstly
, as I've said
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
are
Possible spelling mistake found.
opiums
that cause unnatural behavior in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
are light, while others are deadly right away.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
deaths around the world occur
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of them. Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
aren't
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
in the world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
consequences they produce. Side effects are terrifying.
In addition
, there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
crime happening due
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
.
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Many
addicts steal
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Drugs
are
being introduced
to our kids
as well
.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
were to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
legalized an enormous number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
. The world would
The verb 'would' requires the base form of the verb: "become"
became
a literal anarchy. There would be
Possible spelling mistake found.
haos
everywhere.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
lose their minds when they take these
Possible spelling mistake found.
opiums
.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
can
also
be useful. In medicine
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
patients are
being cured
using a variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
still
, those
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects can not compare with the more significant number of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
effects.

All in all,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
shouldn't
be legalized
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Drugs
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for medical reasons.
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IELTS essay Drugs should be legalized. Do you agree or disagree?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
202 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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