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Drug compaies - unnecessary deaths

Drug compaies - unnecessary deaths YwR7j
That the numbers of unnecessary deaths tend to rise in the underdeveloped nations is attributed to the high cost of pills from pharmaceutical companies. However, I believe that drug manufacturers do not need to decrease the prices of their products as well as do not deserve to be criticized. For a variety of reasons, it would be detrimental to drug producers if they had to cut down on prices. It takes scientists a lot of time and money to research new drugs. Despite finishing the process of researching, scientists have to make ends meet with resources of drug ingredients. Supposing that pharmaceutical groups are obliged to release cheap products, they are likely to reduce drug ingredients. This helps them adapt to obstacles in the production process. In contrast, this leads to the low quality of medication. Therefore, fatalities can not be prevented completely just by forcing medicine companies to supply their products with low prices. From my perspective, governments should participate in saving poor people from healable ailments. Firstly, they need to encourage poor citizens to apply for health insurance. Therefore, their medical fees would be reduced. Secondly, governments ought to impose low taxes on drugs. Tax is a reason which results in the high price of medication. Finally, undeveloped countries can produce drugs on their own by buying a franchise from reliable companies or sending brilliant students to developed countries, boosting drug industries with that group of students. In conclusion, I strongly agree that drug producers are not responsible for the poor's tragedy and governments' efforts are indispensable.
That the numbers of unnecessary deaths tend to rise in the underdeveloped nations
is attributed
to the high cost of pills from pharmaceutical
companies
.
However
, I believe that
drug
manufacturers do not need to decrease the prices of their products
as well
as do not deserve to
be criticized
.

For a variety of reasons, it would be detrimental to
drug
producers if they had to
cut
down on prices. It takes scientists
a lot of
time and money to research new
drugs
. Despite finishing the process of researching, scientists
have to
make
ends
meet
with resources of
drug
ingredients. Supposing that pharmaceutical groups
are obliged
to release
cheap
products, they are likely to
reduce
drug
ingredients. This
helps
them adapt to obstacles in the production process.
In contrast
, this leads to the low quality of medication.
Therefore
, fatalities can not be
prevented
completely
just
by forcing medicine
companies
to supply their products with low prices.

From my perspective,
governments
should participate in saving poor
people
from
healable
ailments.
Firstly
, they need to encourage poor citizens to apply for health insurance.
Therefore
, their medical fees would be
reduced
.
Secondly
,
governments
ought to impose low taxes on
drugs
. Tax is a reason which results in the high price of medication.
Finally
, undeveloped countries can produce
drugs
on their
own
by buying a franchise from reliable
companies
or sending brilliant students to
developed countries
, boosting
drug
industries with that group of students.

In conclusion
, I
strongly
agree
that
drug
producers are not responsible for the poor's tragedy and
governments
' efforts are indispensable.
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IELTS essay Drug compaies - unnecessary deaths

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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