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door games I played at an early age

door games I played at an early age 6m6OW
During childhood, I used to be an inquisitive kid. Well, there are many indoor games I played at an early age but I would like to talk about a special game which is really amazing. I guess almost all children must have played this game and it is even interesting to the adults as well. The game I mention is the Jigsaw puzzle. It’s a kind of game in which the player has to assemble various pieces of different shapes, sizes, colors. Typically, each individual piece contributes to a portion of the picture, when assembled, they produce a complete picture. From my recollection, a birthday gift was a set of assembled pictures consisting of varied levels of challenge ranging from basic to advanced. As a consequence, I had to spend hours trying to conquer it one by one. At first, the basics were as easy as a piece of cake for me so I solved it effortlessly. However, the higher level with over 100 pieces was much tougher and trickier. What a daunting task! After hours spent on it I was not even halfway done so my parents lent me a helping hand and we spent the whole evening solving that puzzle. When finishing this challenge, I felt like I was on cloud nine and gained a deep sense of satisfaction and fulfilment. From my point of view, jigsaw puzzles can tighten our family bonds, boost our connectedness and mutual understanding. At present, this game is a method to let my hair down after working around the clock. Furthermore, thanks to cutting- edge technological breakthroughs, I can play on my smartphone, so it serves as a stress-buster which helps to exercise my brain and stimulate cognitive development. Especially, I hope to advice my children to take up the habit of practising puzzle as a way to improve their concentration span and analytical skills.
During childhood, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be an inquisitive kid. Well, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
indoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
I played at an early age
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I would like to talk about a special game which is
really
amazing. I guess almost all children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have played this game and it is even interesting to the adults
as well
. The game I mention is the Jigsaw
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
puzzle
. It’s a kind of game in which the player
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
assemble various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pieces
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
shapes, sizes, colors.
Typically
, each individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
piece
contributes to a portion of the picture, when assembled, they produce a complete picture. From my recollection, a birthday gift was a set of assembled pictures consisting of varied levels of challenge ranging from basic to advanced. As a consequence, I had to spend hours trying to conquer it one by one. At
first
, the basics were as easy as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
piece
of cake for me
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I solved it
effortlessly
.
However
, the higher level with over 100
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pieces
was much tougher and trickier. What a daunting task! After hours spent on
Consider adding a comma here.
it
I was not even halfway done
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
my parents lent me a helping
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
hand and
we spent the whole evening solving that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
puzzle
. When finishing this challenge, I felt like I was on cloud nine and gained a deep sense of satisfaction and
Possible spelling mistake. 'fulfilment' is British English.
fulfilment
. From my point of view, jigsaw
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
puzzles
can tighten our family bonds, boost our connectedness and mutual understanding. At present, this game is a method to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
my hair down after working around the clock.
Furthermore
, thanks to cutting- edge technological breakthroughs, I can play on my smartphone,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it serves as a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
-buster which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to exercise my brain and stimulate cognitive development.
Especially
, I hope to advice my children to take up the habit of
Possible spelling mistake. 'practising' is British English.
practising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
puzzle
as a way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their concentration span and analytical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
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IELTS essay door games I played at an early age

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
313 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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