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Does television remove our loneliness or not? Discuss

Does television remove our loneliness or not? Discuss xmxJy
Now a days technology sector is on boom with a huge entrainment categories of devices where television is one of them. Television was invented for visual effects and impact where people get enaged with them. Many of time people not only enaged with television but also with the visual character in the channels and progarmmes. In this essay, I shall explain my point of view by analysing both side of the discussion. There are several reason why television remove our loneliness. One of them is that television creates a fictious character where people follow them personally. Television make lots of people addicated. Mostly childern are get influence but also they enjoy every movement of it. Watching television by spending hours an hours is the path of lazyness but spending quality time with television is the path of knowledge sharing. Although this all sound agains the television but from many of years it’s entertaining us. Television connect every home, office, hotels and many more, so we should always remember it. That’s the reason why people from all ages are directly involve with it and it’s programmes. To conclude television is the good friend of our in every ups and down. It not only remove loneliness but also makes us knowlegdeable, fruitfull, livelyhood and connceting with world.
Did you mean "nowadays"?
Now a days
technology sector is on boom with a huge entrainment categories of devices where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
is one of them.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Television
was invented
for visual effects and impact where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
Possible spelling mistake found.
enaged
with them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
of time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
Possible spelling mistake found.
enaged
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
with the visual character in the channels and
Possible spelling mistake found.
progarmmes
. In this essay, I shall
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
my point of view by
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysing' is British English.
analysing
both side of the discussion.

There are several reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
remove our loneliness. One of them is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
creates a
Possible spelling mistake found.
fictious
character where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
follow them
personally
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Television
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Possible spelling mistake found.
addicated
.
Mostly
Possible spelling mistake found.
childern
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
influence
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
they enjoy every movement of it. Watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
by spending hours
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "an hour" or simply "hours"?
an hours
is the path of
Possible spelling mistake found.
lazyness
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
spending quality time with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
is the path of knowledge sharing.

Although this all sound
Possible spelling mistake found.
agains
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of years it’s entertaining us.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Television
Consider using third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "connects".
connect
every home, office, hotels and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we should always remember it. That’s the reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from all ages are
directly
involve with it and it’s
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
.

To conclude
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
friend of our in every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "up"?
ups
and down. It not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
remove loneliness
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
us
Possible spelling mistake found.
knowlegdeable
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
fruitfull
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
livelyhood
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
connceting
with world.
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IELTS essay Does television remove our loneliness or not? Discuss

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
215 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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