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Does money bring happiness?

Does money bring happiness? 8dYlx
Happiness is a spiritual thing that everyone feels it at least one time in their whole life. Sometimes money can bring happiness. But it does not mean that being happy is impossible without money. If you have a lot of money, you are able to buy anything you want. Things what you buy, can make you happy. But this happiness will be temporarily due to the fact that you can bore from them or they can be broken or destroyed, etc. But if you have a lot of or even a few people around you who you can count on and live all feelings together, you can feel real happiness in your whole life. I know some people who have a lot of money, but they are not happy because they do not have close friends who can be them like family in their ups and downs. Are you a person who believes that money brings happiness all time? You should know that you have to work a lot to earn a lot of money. You have to use your all abilities and brain. Then you can be happy after getting things with this money which you have earned owing to your hard working. But do not forget that money is like sea water. The more you drink, the thirstier you become. In a word, money brings happiness. But if you do not have friends, even money cannot save you from depression. Choose your friends attentively.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Happiness
is a spiritual thing that everyone feels it at least one time in their whole life.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
can bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
it does not mean that being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
is impossible without money.

If you have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, you are able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
anything you want. Things what you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
, can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
will be
temporarily
due to the fact that you can
This form is ambiguous and can be used as past tense. Confirm that you are using the intended base form of the main verb after 'to do' as an auxiliary verb..
bore
from
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
them or
they can
be broken
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
, etc.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
if you have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of or even a few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
around you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
you can count on and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
all feelings together, you can feel real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
in your whole life. I know
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they are not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not have close friends
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
can be them like family in their ups and downs.

Are you a person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
believes that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
brings
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
all time? You should know that you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
to earn a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. You
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
your all abilities and brain. Then you can be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
after getting things with this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
which you have earned owing to your
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
hard working
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
do not forget that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is like sea water. The more you drink, the thirstier you become.

In a word,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
brings
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
if you do not have friends, even
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
cannot save you from depression. Choose your friends
attentively
.
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IELTS essay Does money bring happiness?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
246 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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