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Does many people travel benefits or drawbacks opinion essey

Does many people travel benefits or drawbacks opinion essey PWBN2

Balki, sayohat qilish g'oyasi yoshlarga foyda keltiradi, so'nggi o'n yilliklar mobaynida keng tarqalgan bo'lib, ko'pchilikda turli e'tiqodlar mavjud. Shaxsan men, albatta, yuqoridagi bayonotga qo'shilaman va mening fikrimni qo'llab -quvvatlash uchun juda ko'p sabablar borBirinchidan, menimcha, bu sayohatchiga yangi narsalarni boshdan kechirish, tanlov qilish, o'zlarini mukofotlash va dunyoni o'z bilimlaridan tashqarida bilish imkoniyatini beradi. Olimlar buni isbotlaganlari, bu erda eng yaxshi tasvir bo'ladi

Balki, sayohat qilish g'oyasi yoshlarga foyda keltiradi, This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:consequently
so
'nggi o'n yilliklar mobaynida keng tarqalgan bo'lib, ko'pchilikda turli e'tiqodlar mavjud. Shaxsan This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :individualsresidentscitizens
men
, albatta, yuqoridagi bayonotga qo'shilaman va mening fikrimni qo'llab -quvvatlash uchun juda ko'p sabablar borBirinchidan, menimcha, bu sayohatchiga yangi narsalarni boshdan kechirish, tanlov qilish, o'zlarini mukofotlash va dunyoni o'z bilimlaridan tashqarida bilish imkoniyatini beradi. Olimlar buni isbotlaganlari, bu erda eng yaxshi tasvir bo'ladi

IELTS essay Does many people travel benefits or drawbacks opinion essey

Essay

American English

1 paragraphs

61 words

This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1

4.0

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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One main idea per paragraph
Include an introduction and conclusion
Support main points with an explanation and then an example
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Vary your linking phrases using synonyms

Lexical Resource: 6.5

Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
Check your writing for errors

Task Achievement: 6.0

Answer all parts of the question
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Present relevant ideas
Fully explain these ideas
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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