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Being a celebrity brings more problem or benefits?

Being a celebrity brings more problem or benefits? J0XG5
Celebrities means people with constant focus of world wide people. These are the people whose actions, thought and words are followed by other. Every thing in this world has its own plus and minuses, but as per me the benefits of being celebrity over weigh its problems. There are plenty of advantages of being a celebrity which can be sighted. Firstly these are the people who are the trendsetters. These people bring, change and break the trends. Although, normally trends brought by celebrities are in reference to fashion only, but there are defacto in celebrities who take up socio economic causes and have made a big difference in the movement. Like Ms. Jayalalitha, who was from Indian film industry and went on to be a very successful chief minister of Tamilnadu, and like this there are plentyof illustartive personalities. Secondly, the celebrities enjoy the trust and love of their followers. All there actions and words are considered to true words, as if coming from the Lord himself. Thirdly, the benefits which celebrities has is, he brings cultural unity. He makes the word boundries and countries look feable enough. The followers of Indian celebrities are there in different parts of the world like wise followers of celebrities from other part of the world are also been followed and loved in India. So, i would like to conclude by saying that not many people are blessed to be celebrities, there are only handful people who are blessed with this gift. As in the words of a famous movie " with great power comes great responsibilities". And with being a celebtrity one can achieve the what the phrase says.
Possible agreement error. You should probably use: "celebrity means".
Celebrities means
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with constant focus of
Did you mean "worldwide"?
world wide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. These are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
whose actions,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
and words
are followed
by other. Every thing in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
plus and minuses,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
as per me the benefits of being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity
over weigh its problems.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of advantages of being a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity
which can
be sighted
.
Firstly
these are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are the trendsetters. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
bring,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
and break the trends. Although,
normally
trends brought by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
are in reference to fashion
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are
Possible spelling mistake found.
defacto
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
take up
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
socio economic
causes and have made a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
difference in the movement. Like Ms.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Jayalalitha
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
was from Indian film industry and went on to be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
successful chief minister of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tamilnadu
, and like this there are
Possible spelling mistake found.
plentyof
Possible spelling mistake found.
illustartive
personalities.

Secondly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
enjoy the trust and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
of their followers. All there actions and words
are considered
to true words, as if coming from the Lord himself.

Thirdly
, the benefits which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
Possible agreement error. You should probably use: "have", "haven".
has
is, he brings cultural unity. He
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
word
Possible spelling mistake found.
boundries
and countries look
Possible spelling mistake found.
feable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
. The followers of Indian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
are there in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
parts of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
like wise followers of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
from other part of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
are
also
been followed
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
in India.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
Did you mean "I"?
i
would like
to conclude
by saying that not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are blessed
to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
, there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
handful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are blessed
with this gift.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
in the words of a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
movie
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
"
with great power
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
great responsibilities
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
. And with being a
Possible spelling mistake found.
celebtrity
one can achieve the what the phrase says.
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IELTS essay Being a celebrity brings more problem or benefits?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
276 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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