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Does increasing number of sports facilities improve public health?Many aspects of public health - sports facilities can help - other measures are also needed. Provide both the opinions

Does increasing number of sports facilities improve public health? Many aspects of public health - sports facilities can help - other measures are also needed. Provide both the opinions YBJXd
Health has become one of the major concern in today's world. While one group of people believe that to improve pubic health by increasing more sports facilities and other group of people beieve that it would have less impact on public health other measures are required. In this essay, i will discuss both views and provide support to the latter. There are ample reasons on why increasing sports facilities does not improve public health. The primary reason is we are staying in a busy world where people do not find time to take of their heath, only 30% of the people would use these sports facilities. Other reason is that most of these sports facilities are paid and poor cannot afford to pay. Although there are multiple reasons, that sports facilities will has less effect and other measures are required. An interesting reason is that there are various ways to improve ones health without using the sports facilities like running, skipping, home workouts, jogging etc there are proved to be more effective. During the lockdown most of the sports centers were closed people had to find an alternative to stay fit that was when the home workouts became a trend. Another reason is that, people are lazy and they need a push to step out and visit sports centers. In my opinion IT companies should host more events like marathon, runathon and walkathon for its staffs more often. This will make the staffs motivate each other and might help then add this activity in their everyday schedule. In conclusion, although people think the best way to improve health is by increasing sports facilities. I am in the view that other measures are required, which is equally benifitiial.
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Health
has become one of the major concern in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world.

While one group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
Did you mean "public"?
pubic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
by increasing more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Possible spelling mistake found.
beieve
that it would have less impact on public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
measures
are required
.

In this essay,
Did you mean "I"?
i
will discuss both views and provide support to the latter.

There are ample
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
on why increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities does not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
public health.

The primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is we are staying in a busy world where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not find time to take of their heath,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
30% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that most of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities
are paid
and poor cannot afford to pay.

Although there are multiple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
, that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities will has less effect and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
measures
are required
.

An interesting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that there are various ways to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
Did you mean "one's"?
ones
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
without using the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities like running, skipping, home workouts, jogging etc there
are proved
to be more effective. During the lockdown most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
centers
were closed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
had to find an alternative to stay fit that was when the home workouts became a trend. Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
lazy and
they need a push to step out and visit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
centers. In my opinion IT
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
should host more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
like marathon,
Possible spelling mistake found.
runathon
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
walkathon
for its staffs more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
. This will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the staffs motivate each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
and might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
this activity in their everyday schedule.

In conclusion
, although
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the best way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
is by increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities. I am in the view that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
measures
are required
, which is
equally
Possible spelling mistake found.
benifitiial
.
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IELTS essay Does increasing number of sports facilities improve public health? Many aspects of public health - sports facilities can help - other measures are also needed. Provide both the opinions

Essay
  American English
8 paragraphs
287 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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