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Doctors say that nowadays people do not involve in physical exercise.what are the possible reasons of that and how this problem can be solved?

Doctors say that nowadays people do not involve in physical exercise. what are the possible reasons of that and how this problem can be solved? Jlxww
Since the beginning of 21st century, people have less interest towards the exercises, which make them physically and mentally fit. Through this essay, I will examine possible reasons for this phenomenon and suggest some of the practical measures which can assist to overcome this alarming issue. There are myraid of factors behind this burning issue. The first and the foremost reason cause is that nowadays people have hectic life style, so they do not have enough time to spend for exrecises. Because, they disburse their most of time in work for earning hefty sum of money so that their survival can become easy. For instance, it is clear from a recent survey that near about 75% of employees are willing to do work for extra hours due to high pay. However, this problem can be tackle, if legal authorities will enforce a limit of working hours, then masses will become able to enjoy their free time without any pressure and by doing some kinds of activities. The another reason is that, if any hazardous virus is prevailing in the nation, it will make masses unable to go outside for walking and other activities. Because, they have fear of disease and nobody want to put their life in danger. In other words, in the present era, covid 19 has become a cause of death of numerous people and government put a ban on outside activities. To curb this difficulty, statutory bodies should create awareness among the masses regarding the necessary rules and instruction, which should be followed by the residents, so that they could enjoy the benefits of physical activities. To conclude, lack of time and danger of particular disease are the main reasons thats why dwellers do not indulge in the exercises but, this trend can be solved by the legal bodies by creating awareness and making some rules regarding working hours.
Since the beginning of 21st century,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have less interest towards the exercises, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them
physically
and mentally fit. Through this essay, I will examine possible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
for this phenomenon and suggest
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
practical measures which can assist to overcome this alarming issue. There are
Possible spelling mistake found.
myraid
of factors behind this burning issue. The
first
and the foremost
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
cause is that nowadays
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have hectic life style,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to spend for
Possible spelling mistake found.
exrecises
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
, they disburse their most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in work for earning hefty sum of money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that their survival can become easy.
For instance
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
from a recent survey that near about 75% of employees are willing to do work for extra hours due to high pay.
However
, this problem can be tackle, if legal authorities will enforce a limit of working hours, then masses will become able to enjoy their free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
without any pressure and by doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
. The another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that, if any hazardous virus is prevailing in the nation, it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
masses unable to go outside for walking and other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
, they have fear of disease and nobody
The pronoun 'nobody' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "wants", "wanted".
want
to put their
Did you mean "lives"?
life
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
.
In other words
, in the present era,
Did you mean "COVID-19" or the alternative spelling "Covid-19" (= coronavirus)?
covid 19
has become a cause of death of numerous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
put a ban on outside
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
. To curb this difficulty, statutory bodies should create awareness among the masses regarding the necessary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and instruction, which should
be followed
by the residents,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they could enjoy the benefits of physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
.
To conclude
, lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
of particular disease are the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
Possible spelling mistake found
thats
why dwellers do not indulge in the exercises
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, this trend can
be solved
by the legal bodies by creating awareness and making
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
regarding working hours.
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IELTS essay Doctors say that nowadays people do not involve in physical exercise. what are the possible reasons of that and how this problem can be solved?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
312 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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