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doctors in many countries say that poeple do not do enough physical excercise. What are the causes of this trend. How can this situation be improved? v.1

doctors in many countries say that poeple do not do enough physical excercise. What are the causes of this trend. How can this situation be improved? v. 1
Physical inactivity is becoming a pandemic problem and health physicians in many countries are saying that people do not get adequate excercise. This can be attributed to nature of work, urbanization and lack of fitness centers. The situation can be improved in a plethora of ways. To begin with, sedentary lifestyle can be due to working environment and the nature of work. For instance, a person working 18-24hours shift everyday for the whole year seldom make out time to do aerobics because the job cannot allow it. Furthermore, urbanization can destroy most of the natural arenas or packs that poeple use for jogging, running and hence retard them from taking part in excercise. In addition, lack of fitness centers in many part of the world has contributed in poeple's non challant attitudes towards keeping fit. Hence this lack of physical activity can lead to fat accumulation which can Inturn trigger obesity with its numerous health and cardiovascular problems. There are many things that can be done to remedy the situation. Firstly, creating awareness programs that educate the public about consequences of inactivity and ways to improve them. Secondly, the individual taking care of his own self by making out time despite the busy schedule to work out even at least two times in a week because it will go a long way to improve the body. Thirdly, government should take part in funding and creating fitness centers such as stadiums or parks where people can come to jog, run, skate, play football and other activities that can help keep fit. Lastly, the health practitioners should make out time to educate and advise their patients about the need to exercise the body. To conclude, the rate of people living a sedentary lifestyle is quite alarming. Both the government and the individual can play a role to ensure a healthy living and avert the detrimental effects that lack of excercise can cause
Physical inactivity is becoming a pandemic problem and health physicians in
many
countries are saying that
people
do not
get
adequate
excercise
. This can
be attributed
to nature of work, urbanization and
lack
of fitness centers. The situation can be
improved
in a plethora of ways.

To
begin
with, sedentary lifestyle can be due to working environment and the nature of work.
For instance
, a person working 18-24hours shift
everyday
for the whole year seldom
make
out
time
to do aerobics
because
the job cannot
allow
it.
Furthermore
, urbanization can
destroy
most of the natural arenas or packs that
poeple
use
for jogging, running and
hence
retard them from taking part in
excercise
.
In addition
,
lack
of fitness centers in
many part
of the world has contributed in
poeple
's non
challant
attitudes towards keeping fit.
Hence
this
lack
of physical activity can lead to
fat
accumulation which can
Inturn
trigger obesity with its numerous health and cardiovascular problems.

There are
many
things that can
be done
to remedy the situation.
Firstly
, creating awareness programs that educate the public about consequences of inactivity and ways to
improve
them.
Secondly
, the individual taking care of his
own
self by making out
time
despite the busy schedule to work out even at least two
times
in a week
because
it will go a long way to
improve
the body.
Thirdly
,
government
should
take part
in funding and creating fitness centers such as stadiums or parks where
people
can
come
to jog, run, skate, play football and other activities that can
help
keep
fit.
Lastly
, the health practitioners should
make
out
time
to educate and advise their patients about the need to exercise the body.

To conclude
, the rate of
people
living a sedentary lifestyle is quite alarming. Both the
government
and the individual can play a role to ensure a healthy living and avert the detrimental effects that
lack
of
excercise
can
cause
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay doctors in many countries say that poeple do not do enough physical excercise. What are the causes of this trend. How can this situation be improved? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
319 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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