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DOCTORS IN MANY COUNTRIES SAY THAT PEOPLE DO NOT DO ENOUGH PHYSICAL EXERCISES. WHAT ARE THE CAUSES OF THIS TREND? HOW CAN THE SITUATION BE IMPROVED? v.1

DOCTORS IN MANY COUNTRIES SAY THAT PEOPLE DO NOT DO ENOUGH PHYSICAL EXERCISES. WHAT ARE THE CAUSES OF THIS TREND? HOW CAN THE SITUATION BE IMPROVED? v. 1
Physical exercise is a very important method of improving one’s health. However, medical practitioners in many countries are of the view that adequate exercise is not done by people; a trend which can be attributed to poor work life balance, and the reluctance on the part of individuals to do enough exercise. The causes of this problem, as well as its possible solution will be discussed in this essay. Today, lots of people spend quite a major part of the day at work, thus, leaving them with little or no time to engage in extra curricular activities, such as exercising. Because this lifestyle has become a routine, exercising by individuals is now almost impossible, as they tend to get home late and tired. Furthermore, reluctance on the part of individuals to engage in adequate physical activities such as exercising is another reason for this worrisome trend. For instance, a recent survey carried out by the department of physical education of the university of Lagos revealed that most people do not engage in exercise because, they lack the motivation to do it, as a reason for this is not seen. In as much as the lack of adequate exercise can be attributed to certain reasons, there is however a solution to this issue. Most Importantly, is the need by the society to sensitize the populace on the importance of regular exercise. Through certain methods such as awareness campaign, people become better informed and well educated on the advantages of routine physical work-out. A case in point is Rwanda, which recorded an increase in the number if individuals that visited the gym after constant awareness campaigns through the media. The positive outcome should serve as a driving factor encouraging similar method in other parts of the world. In conclusion, as stated by doctors in many counties today, people do not engage in adequate exercise. Some of the reasons behind this trend include, but not limited to, poor work life balance and the reluctance by individuals to exercise. However, this trend can be reversed via aggressive awareness campaign by the society, as this will better educate the people on the importance of regular physical exercise.
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Physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
method of improving one’s health.
However
, medical practitioners in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries are of the view that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adequate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
is not done by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
; a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
which can
be attributed
to poor
It seems that a hyphen is missing.
work life
balance, and the reluctance on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
. The causes of this problem,
as well
as its possible solution will
be discussed
in this essay.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend quite a major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
of the day at work,
thus
, leaving them with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
or no time to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
engage
in
This word is normally spelled as one.
extra curricular
activities, such as exercising.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
this lifestyle has become a routine, exercising by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
almost impossible, as they tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
home late and tired.
Furthermore
, reluctance on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
engage
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adequate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
activities such as exercising is another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
for this worrisome
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
.
For instance
, a recent survey carried out by the department of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
education of the university of Lagos revealed that most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
engage
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, they lack the motivation to do it, as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
for this is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
.

In as much as the lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adequate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
can
be attributed
to certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
, there is
however
a solution to this issue. Most
Importantly
, is the need by the society to sensitize the populace on the importance of regular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
. Through certain methods such as awareness campaign,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
become better informed and
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well educated
on the advantages of routine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
work-out. A case in point is Rwanda, which recorded an increase in the number if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
that visited the gym after constant awareness campaigns through the media. The
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
outcome should serve as a driving factor encouraging similar method in other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parts
of the world.

In conclusion
, as stated by doctors in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
counties
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
engage
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adequate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
.
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
Some of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
behind this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
include,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not limited to, poor
It seems that a hyphen is missing.
work life
balance and the reluctance by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
.
However
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
can
be reversed
via aggressive awareness campaign by the society, as this will better educate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
on the importance of regular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
45Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay DOCTORS IN MANY COUNTRIES SAY THAT PEOPLE DO NOT DO ENOUGH PHYSICAL EXERCISES. WHAT ARE THE CAUSES OF THIS TREND? HOW CAN THE SITUATION BE IMPROVED? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
362 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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