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Doctors in many countries believe that people are not getting enough exercises. What might be causing this lack of exercise? What can be done to address the issue ?

Doctors in many countries believe that people are not getting enough exercises. What might be causing this lack of exercise? What can be done to address the issue? lgbD
It is believed by many doctors across the world that the people are doing less physical activities nowadays. The main reason behind this tendency is our busy lifestyle. On the other hand maintaining a work-life balance can be a significant move towards this direction. It is true that people are working longer hours than ever before for various reasons. In addition, a majority of them are occupied in their professional life so much. For example, owing to boom corporate culture in India, it is getting difficult for the workers to take out some time to exercise due to their frequent rotational shifts. Indeed, professionalism has crippled our daily schedule and forcing us to live in virtual world. However, maintaining work-life balance can be helpful to ameliorate the present situation. People need to understand the importance of physical activeness in order to lead a healthy and fit life. For instance, many people at the public places prefer to use staircase instead of lifts to burn out the extra layer of fat. Therefore, in order to improve health, one must focus on physical activities on a daily basis. In conclusion, in today’s fast paced world, many people are unable to do regular exercise because they are wrapped up extensively in their working and personal life. This essay discussed how our living pattern causes health related issues for all of us. This essay also suggested the solution including creating balance between work and health.
It
is believed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
doctors across the world that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are doing less physical activities nowadays. The main reason behind this tendency is our busy lifestyle.
On the other hand
maintaining a work-life balance can be a significant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
towards this direction.

It is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are working longer hours than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
for various reasons.
In addition
, a majority of them
are occupied
in their professional life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much.
For example
, owing to boom corporate culture in India, it is getting difficult for the workers to take out
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time to exercise due to their frequent rotational shifts.
Indeed
, professionalism has crippled our daily schedule and forcing us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in virtual world.

However
, maintaining work-life balance can be helpful to ameliorate the present situation.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
need to understand the importance of physical activeness in order to lead a healthy and fit life.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
at the public places prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
staircase
instead
of lifts to burn out the extra layer of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
.
Therefore
, in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
health, one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
focus on physical activities on a daily basis.

In conclusion
, in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
paced world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are unable to do regular exercise
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
are wrapped
up
extensively
in their working and personal life. This essay discussed how our living pattern causes health related issues for all of us. This essay
also
suggested the solution including creating balance between work and health.
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IELTS essay Doctors in many countries believe that people are not getting enough exercises. What might be causing this lack of exercise? What can be done to address the issue?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
240 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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