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some people think that cultural traditions may be destroyed when they are used as money-making attractions aimed at tourists. Others believe it is the only way to save these traditions. Discuss both sides give your opinion.

some people think that cultural traditions may be destroyed when they are used as money-making attractions aimed at tourists. Others believe it is the only way to save these traditions. LMxK
There are split opinion regarding destroyed cultural and saving the traditions. Some believe that cultural traditional is destroyed Now, and when they are used as money-making attraction aimed. Where as, another group of thinkers supports many people, believes the way to save these traditions, However, both has it's own pros and cons. Therefore, before conmenting on my decesion both the opinion would discussed. Examining the for more opinion the primary argument the supports would put foeward is we have to make there type cultural traditions for tourists, because we need turists. first of all tourisum boosts our economy and second of we are spread our culture and with different type of people. This is a big opportunities for our coumies. In additional, they also believe that our aountrys cultural and the tradition is very different of another countrys. So, they are use as money making attractions aimed is wrong, because of thay are tack care to aur cultural traditions. The resions is if, we are not care. then after some years we lost our countrys cultural traditions. On the contory, the latter view suggest that the other prople believe it is the only way to save there traditions because of torusim is the backbone of any contry's economoy and every contry does it's effort to attrect turists and some people is depends on tourism for thair livelihood. as like food industry, Hotel industry and transport industry depends on tourism. Infact change is the law of native and all we should look into it that the changes are made with caution to retain the nature elements of the culture. I counclued that to give my opinion, I would say that we need to save our cultureal tradition to make some changes to makes them capativiting to the tourist a todays. If we do not do so we will lose our cultural traditions and we will lose our tourists also.
There
are split
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinion
regarding
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
and saving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
traditional is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, and when they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
as money-making attraction aimed.
Did you mean "Whereas"?
Where as
, another group of thinkers supports
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believes
the way to save these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
,
However
, both has
Did you mean "its" (possessive pronoun) instead of 'it's' (=it is)?
it's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
pros and cons.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
Possible spelling mistake found.
conmenting
on my
Possible spelling mistake found.
decesion
both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinion
would
The verb 'would' requires the base form of the verb: "discuss"
discussed
. Examining the for more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinion
the primary argument the supports would put
Possible spelling mistake found.
foeward
is we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
there type
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
for tourists,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we need
Possible spelling mistake found.
turists
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
first of all
Possible spelling mistake found.
tourisum
boosts our economy and second of we
are spread
our culture and with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
type of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. This is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "opportunity"?
opportunities
for our
Possible spelling mistake found.
coumies
. In additional, they
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that our
Possible spelling mistake found.
aountrys
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tradition
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
of another
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "countries", the plural form of the noun 'country'?
countrys
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
as money making attractions aimed is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
thay
are tack care to
Possible spelling mistake found.
aur
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
. The
Possible spelling mistake found.
resions
is if, we are not care.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
then
after
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
years we lost our
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "countries", the plural form of the noun 'country'?
countrys
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
. On the
Possible spelling mistake found.
contory
, the latter view suggest that the other
Possible spelling mistake found.
prople
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
it is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to save there
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
torusim
is the backbone of any
Possible spelling mistake found.
contry
's
Possible spelling mistake found.
economoy
and every
Possible spelling mistake found.
contry
does
Did you mean "its" (possessive pronoun) instead of 'it's' (short form of 'it is')?
it's
effort to
Possible spelling mistake found.
attrect
Possible spelling mistake found.
turists
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
depends on tourism
Possible spelling mistake found.
for thair
livelihood.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
as
like food industry, Hotel industry and transport industry depends on tourism.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Infact
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
is the law of native and all we should look into it that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
are made
with caution to retain the nature elements of the culture. I
Possible spelling mistake found.
counclued
that to give my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinion
, I would say that we need to save our
Possible spelling mistake found.
cultureal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tradition
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them
Possible spelling mistake found.
capativiting
to the tourist
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a today" or simply "todays"?
a todays
. If we do not do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we will lose our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
traditions and
we will lose our tourists
also
.
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IELTS essay some people think that cultural traditions may be destroyed when they are used as money-making attractions aimed at tourists. Others believe it is the only way to save these traditions.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
318 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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