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Do young people in your country celebrate special occasions?

Do young people in your country celebrate special occasions? y7Mpg
Yes, they are. The birthday paties are the most celebrated of them. They invite their friends and relatives to restaurant and clubs to celebrate their special occasion. Moreover, those invited will be send gifts, good-luck. Of course, there is no lack of ceremonial blowing and cutting birthday cake for the reception. The atmosphere at the party was so lively and cheerful that even moving moments of tears were celebrated for person birthday.
Yes, they are. The birthday
Possible spelling mistake found.
paties
are the most celebrated of them. They invite their friends and relatives to restaurant and clubs to celebrate their special occasion.
Moreover
, those invited will be
Consider using the past participle "sent"?
send
gifts,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
-luck.
Of course
, there is no lack of ceremonial blowing and cutting birthday cake for the reception. The atmosphere at the party was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
lively and cheerful that even moving moments of tears
were celebrated
for person birthday.
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IELTS essay Do young people in your country celebrate special occasions?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
72 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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