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do you use technology to communicate with your friends?

do you use technology to communicate with your friends? kYLPM
Absolutely yes; the technology and internet are growing up that I think in the future we should do the majority of our activity by the applications and some softwares wich we would have in our pc or laptop. As we see in Iran; for example about the traditional taxies that these days they become extinct because of progressive of technology and majority of people are transfer by SNAP. But I think companies and big stores have to pay attention to the advancement of technology and especially internet. If a company doesn’t care about internet it would be destroy; companies have to follow the technology and it’s advancement to improve their performance. But by myself with internet and technology I do better my works and it takes me lower time to spend and with lower cost too. I have a lot of groups and channels in the social network and it is an easy way to communicate and talk with each other.
Absolutely
yes; the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
and internet are growing up that I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
in the future we should do the majority of our activity by the applications and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "softwares'" or "software's"?
softwares
Possible spelling mistake found.
wich
we would have in our
Possible spelling mistake found.
pc
or laptop.

As we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
in Iran;
for example
about the traditional
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "taxis", the plural form of the noun 'taxi'?
taxies
that these days they become extinct
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of progressive of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
and
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are transfer by SNAP.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
stores
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay attention to the advancement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
and
especially
internet.

If a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
doesn’t care about internet it would be
Consider using the past participle "destroyed"?
destroy
;
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
follow the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
and it’s advancement to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their performance.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
by myself with internet and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
I do better my works and it takes me lower time to spend and with lower cost too.

I have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
groups and channels in the social network and it is an easy way to communicate and talk with each other.
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IELTS essay do you use technology to communicate with your friends?

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
161 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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