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"Do you think the positive social impacts of social media on relationships outweigh the negative ones or vice versa?"

"Do you think the positive social impacts of social media on relationships outweigh the negative ones or vice versa? " XlNJg
Industry 4. 0 has created a whole new era with the addition of advanced technology has created and also changes all kinds of aspects in human life, especially in communication and connection in real life. Although social media have some detrimental sides, overall, the advantage of it connecting people is much more outweigh. In this essay I will evaluate both views before reaching the conclusion. Social media benefits relationship by several ways. First of all, the addition of social media act as an equipment to nurture and strengthen relationship between human. Social media help people maintain existing relationship, create a much more diverse list of friends or simply to connect with your friends and family everyday. Secondly, social media can aids the lack of communication for those who are living alone or having too overprotective guardian. For example, in today’s pandemic, social platform are helping users in not only connecting, but also work, study and other factor. “Social media is a supplement to relationship, not a replacement” quoted from an expert. Much as the attributes that make social media a positive force in our lives, it can also be a drawbacks as well. Many people’s are addicted to social media, being hyper-connected to the Internet are now a very common problems that increase the risk of not having any differentiate between virtual and real life and can leads to serious repercussion. Moreover, social media is also known for its toxicness to mental health of a person, not everyone is kind to eachother, many of them use it to bully, attack and spread false information. A research shown that 73% teenagers got cyberbully throughout their lifetime and it had developed social anxiety and mental illness. To conclude, it is true that social media still have some flaws of it own. Nevertheless, its benefits to user are irrefutable and indispensable in human life. Social media users should have responsible when using it so that no more negative sides in it.
Industry 4. 0 has created a whole new era with the addition of advanced technology has created and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
all kinds of aspects in human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
,
especially
in communication and connection in real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
detrimental sides,
overall
, the advantage of it connecting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
is much more outweigh. In this essay I will evaluate both views
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
reaching the conclusion.

Social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
benefits
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
by several ways.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the addition of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
act as
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "equipment".
an equipment
to nurture and strengthen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
between human.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
maintain existing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
, create a much more diverse list of friends or
simply
to connect with your friends and family
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
can aids the lack of communication for those who are living alone or having too overprotective guardian.
For example
, in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s pandemic,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
platform are helping users in not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
connecting,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
work, study and other factor.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
“Social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is a supplement to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
, not a replacement” quoted from an expert.

Much as the attributes that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
force in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, it can
also
be
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a drawback" or simply "drawbacks"?
a drawbacks
as well
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s
are addicted
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
, being hyper-connected to the Internet are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
common
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "problem"?
problems
that increase the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of not having any differentiate between virtual and real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and can
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "lead"
leads
to serious repercussion.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is
also
known for its
Possible spelling mistake found.
toxicness
to mental health of a person, not everyone is kind to
Possible spelling mistake found.
eachother
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it to bully, attack and spread false information. A research shown that 73%
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
cyberbully
throughout their lifetime and it had developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
anxiety and mental illness.

To conclude
, it is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
still
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
flaws of it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
.
Nevertheless
, its benefits to user are irrefutable and indispensable in human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
users should have responsible when using it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that no more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
sides in it.
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IELTS essay "Do you think the positive social impacts of social media on relationships outweigh the negative ones or vice versa? "

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
328 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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