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Do you think that people can only be happy if they have a job they really enjoy?

Do you think that people can only be happy if they have a job they really enjoy? 55m9m
Everyone all wants to have a position they enjoyably do. Unfortunately, few fortunate people can achieve that jobs. Other people have to put up with their job so as to earn money. They don’t live to work, they work to live. Does it mean that they aren’t happy? It is quite true when you see the commuters on the trains and buses in the morning. They are always full of tired. Pale-faced commuters are going to their offices or factories, where they spend next eight hours doing the job they find hard, boring and stressful. However, when you see the same people in the evening, they seem completely diverse. People who seem unhappy in the morning now smile a bit more. Instead of ignoring in the morning, they now smile and greet each other. In my point of view, this fact indicates that the happiness doesn’t entirely base on what job you do. It does depend on other things such as friends, family and good health. In particular, I have known many people who don’t have a dreaming job, but they seem really happy due to their families and comfortable lives. In conclusion, I believe that having a job you love doing is important as well as make you a happier person. However, the happiness does base on more than that. It involved in more important factors.
Everyone all wants to have a position they
enjoyably
do. Unfortunately, few fortunate
people
can achieve that
jobs
. Other
people
have to
put up with their
job
so as to
earn money. They don’t
live
to work, they work to
live
.

Does it mean that they aren’t happy? It is quite true when you
see
the commuters on the trains and buses in the morning. They are always full of tired. Pale-faced commuters are going to their offices or factories, where they spend
next
eight hours doing the
job
they find
hard
, boring and stressful.

However
, when you
see
the same
people
in the evening, they seem completely diverse.
People
who seem unhappy in the morning
now
smile a bit more.
Instead
of ignoring in the morning, they
now
smile and greet each other.

In my point of view, this fact indicates that the happiness doesn’t
entirely
base on what
job
you do. It does depend on other things such as friends, family and
good
health.
In particular
, I have known
many
people
who don’t have a dreaming
job
,
but
they seem
really
happy due to their families and comfortable
lives
.

In conclusion
, I believe that having a
job
you
love
doing is
important
as well
as
make
you a happier person.
However
, the happiness does base on more than that. It involved in more
important
factors.
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IELTS essay Do you think that people can only be happy if they have a job they really enjoy?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
227 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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