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Do you think it is important to have a work-life balance? Why?

Do you think it is important to have a work-life balance? Why? alJNo
Personally, I take the view that it is important to have a work-life balance because of the following reasons. First and foremost, a work-life balance can improve our relationship especiall stay connected with family and friends. Take my story for example. About three years of high school, I studied away from home and had to live in a hostel. It seems to me that I studied in a new environment, so I couldn’t keep up with my classmates. Therefore, I had to spend more time on studying and forgot to spare time for my family and friends. I only rang my parents once in a blue moon and I no longer made telephone calls to my friends. At first, I thought I was doing the right thing, but gradually, I realized that I was wrong. Focusing on studying too much means less time with those I love. Having a work-life balance means developing deep connections with other people, especially family and friends. These connections will help you achieve more goals and you’ll feel more connected to your work in a meaningful way. Moreover, a work-life balance can maintain a good health. About the mental health, when we feel more balanced you’re more capable of dealing with negative emotions and thoughts. The humans’ brain can not stand the strains ans stresses all the time. Therefore, creating more balance in life gives us breathing space to think, helps us to better understand our feelings, know our thoughts, and actually deals with them. A good health also includes the physical health. A work-life balance will help us many things like eating healthy meals, reducing sugar and alcohol intake, healthy sleep habits, and doing exercise. In some instances, I have to spend a lot of time sitting on my desk and completing the work, which means that I rarely move, often sit and almost never go outside. During that time, I felt quite strained, stressed, and tired. From that, I understand the importance of work-life balance. If we have a work-life balance or specific schedule, we can feel more positive and good about ourshelves.
Personally
, I take the view that it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to have a work-life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
balance
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the following reasons.
First
and foremost, a work-life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
balance
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
our relationship
Possible spelling mistake found.
especiall
stay connected with family and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
. Take my story
for example
. About three years of high school, I studied away from home and had to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a hostel. It seems to me that I studied in a new environment,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I couldn’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
up with my classmates.
Therefore
, I had to spend more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on studying and forgot to spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for my family and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
rang my parents once in a blue moon and I no longer made telephone calls to my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
. At
first
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
I was doing the right thing,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
gradually
, I realized that I was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
. Focusing on studying too much means less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with those I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
. Having a work-life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
balance
means developing deep connections with other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
especially
family and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
. These connections will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you achieve more goals and you’ll feel more connected to your work
Consider replacing "in a meaningful way" with the adverb for "meaningful"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a meaningful way
.
Moreover
, a work-life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
balance
can maintain a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. About the mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
, when we feel more balanced you’re more capable of dealing with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
emotions and thoughts. The humans’ brain can not stand the
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "strains'" or "strain's"?
strains
ans
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stresses
all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
Therefore
, creating more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
balance
in life gives us breathing space to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
us to better understand our feelings, know our thoughts, and actually deals with them. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
also
includes the physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. A work-life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
balance
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things like eating healthy meals, reducing sugar and alcohol intake, healthy sleep habits, and doing exercise. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
instances, I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
sitting on my desk and completing the work, which means that I rarely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
sit and almost never go outside. During that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, I felt quite strained,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
, and tired. From that, I understand the importance of work-life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
balance
. If we have a work-life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
balance
or specific schedule, we can feel more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
about
Possible spelling mistake found.
ourshelves
.
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IELTS essay Do you think it is important to have a work-life balance? Why?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
350 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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