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Do you think it is better for students to work before their university study? Why? Use reasons and specific examples to support your choice.

Do you think it is better for students to work before their university study? Why? Use reasons and specific examples to support your choice. 5G0Q
Nowadays taking a year gap to work between high school and university is becoming extremely popular among certain students. I personally think it is a great idea to have working experiences prior to the university. This essay will discuss about the reasons with some explanation and example. One of the major advantages of doing this is that the students will know the value of money and they can even contribute some of their earnings to the tuition fees. By working for at least one year, one will eventually know things do not come free and you have to work hard for it. This small change in the mindset itself is a plus point. Taking about the tuition fees, we are already aware of that fact that the university fees are really expensive and some parents may not be able to fund for their children’s higher studies. If the students pay up at least half of the fees, it won’t be a huge burden for their parents and the studies will not be affected as well. Another positive point of working before university is that there will be many opportunities for the students after graduation. Because they already have some working experience, the employers will prefer them over those who are completely new in this working environment. Moreover, they will eventually develop some social skills, know work ethics and will be more punctual as well. If you have develop some communication skills, it will not only help in your job but also in the university as you will be able to make new friends easily, will be more confidence in front of the teacher. Furthermore, it will also help in your academic studies as well. For example, a student who have worked as a cashier, and later chose accounting as a major subject, then he will definitely do very well in his studies as he already have some practical experience. In conclusion, the trend of taking a suitable job before going for higher studies is really good and will have a huge positive impact on the students’ life in a long term.
Nowadays taking a year gap to work between high school and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
is becoming
extremely
popular among certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is a great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
experiences prior to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
. This essay will
Did you mean simply "discuss the"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about the
reasons with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
explanation and example. One of the major advantages of doing this is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will know the value of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
money and
they can even contribute
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of their earnings to the tuition
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fees
. By
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
for at least one year, one will
eventually
know things do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
free and you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for it. This
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the mindset itself is a plus point. Taking about the tuition
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fees
, we are already aware of that fact that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fees
are
really
expensive and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
parents may not be able to fund for their children’s higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
pay up at least half of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fees
, it won’t be a huge burden for their parents and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
will not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
as well
.

Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
point of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
is that there will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
opportunities for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
after graduation.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
they already have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
experience, the employers will prefer them over those who are completely new in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
environment.
Moreover
, they will
eventually
develop
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, know work ethics and will be more punctual
as well
. If you have
Use past participle here: "developed".
develop
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, it will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in your job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
as you will be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
new friends
easily
, will be more confidence in front of the teacher.
Furthermore
, it will
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in your academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
as well
.
For example
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
who have worked as a cashier, and later chose
If 'chose' is used as a verb, it usually requires the infinitive: "to account".
accounting
as a major subject, then he will definitely do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
well in his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
as he already
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "has", "had".
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
practical experience.

In conclusion
, the trend of taking a suitable job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
going for higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
is
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and will have a huge
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
life in a long term.
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IELTS essay Do you think it is better for students to work before their university study? Why? Use reasons and specific examples to support your choice.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
351 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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