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Do you think a former actor could become president in your country

Do you think a former actor could become president in your country x2pXy
Many would argue that celebrities should not involve themselves in politics simply because entertainers should entertain and leave politics to the professionals. Firstly, I can say that is assuming that celebrities are uneducated about the politics that they represent and do not know what they are talking about. This is an unfair assumption as many celebrities are passionate about the subject and want to see the right changes made. Furthermore, some people who rose to stardom experienced a ‘rags to riches’ story, therefore they know what it is like to be an ordinary citizen and should be able to advocate for them. Secondly, we have a living proof of how people who are not related to politics became presidents. Vladimir Zelensky was an actor, and Donald Trump was a TV presenter, showman and businessman. As for Volodymyr Zelensky, I believe that he leads the country no worse than his predecessors. This is a person who is not indifferent to the fate of Ukraine and all the inhabitants of his country. Many people are tired of the old regime, corruption, lack of money and inaction. And the fact that most of the country believed this man and voted for him already says a lot. In conclusion, I want to say I want to say that the world does not stand still, and I am glad that the old conservatism and belief that an actor or other media personality cannot become a president is slowly losing ground. I do not regret at all that the president of my country is a former actor.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
would argue that celebrities should not involve themselves in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
politics
simply
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
entertainers should entertain and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
politics
to the professionals.

Firstly
, I can say
that is
assuming that celebrities
are uneducated
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
politics
that they represent and do not know what they are talking about. This is an unfair assumption as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
celebrities are passionate about the subject and want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the right
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
made.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who rose to stardom experienced a ‘rags to riches’ story,
therefore
they know what it is like to be an ordinary citizen and should be able to advocate for them.

Secondly
, we have a living proof of how
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who are not related to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
politics
became presidents. Vladimir Zelensky was an actor, and Donald Trump was a TV presenter, showman and businessman. As for Volodymyr Zelensky, I believe that he leads the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
no worse than his predecessors. This is a person who is not indifferent to the fate of Ukraine and all the inhabitants of his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are tired
of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
regime, corruption, lack of money and inaction. And the fact that most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
believed this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
and voted for him already says a lot.

In conclusion
, I want to say I want to say that the world does not stand
still
, and I am glad that the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
conservatism and belief that an actor or other media personality cannot become a president is
slowly
losing ground. I do not regret at all that the president of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is a former actor.
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IELTS essay Do you think a former actor could become president in your country

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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