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Do you believe the benefits of a consumer society outweigh the disadvantages? Explain your answer

Do you believe the benefits of a consumer society outweigh the disadvantages? Explain your answer 86OJG
There is no doubt that consuming differs between societies and between individuals in the same society. Some people think that societies need to be consumer societies in order to develop. Others think otherwise. In this essay I will discuss both views and explain why consuming is essential and beneficial for the general public. Firstly, a society in which the buying and selling of goods and services is the most important social and economic activity is a thriving society because it means its economy is moving and there is purchasing power between the civilians, and that reflects directly on the living standard of the people. In fact, the governments usually issue incentives in the time of disasters to freshen the economy; most recent one is the stimulus check that are given to people in response to the COVID-19 pandemic. Secondly, consuming create jobs to a huge portion of the society, directly and indirectly. If there is no one to buy certain product then there is no need to produce it in the first place. Hence, more buying and consuming equals more manufacturing and producing as a result more jobs. However, consuming profusely has its disadvantages. Most noticeably the environmental pollution and the global warming. Plastic is the most material produced and used in the products that are purchased, and it does not decompose overtime and harm the environment and the animals living in it. Another issue is the air pollution that is caused by the gases from the factories. In conclusion, consuming is a necessary activity in any society, it has its downside by affecting the environment, but the advantages in the economy that come with it outweigh those disadvantages.
There is no doubt that consuming differs between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
societies
and between individuals in the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
societies
need to be consumer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
societies
in order to develop. Others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
otherwise
. In this essay I will discuss both views and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why consuming is essential and beneficial for the
Consider using "public".
general public
.

Firstly
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
in which the buying and selling of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and services is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
social and economic activity is a thriving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it means its economy is moving and there is purchasing power between the civilians, and that reflects
directly
on the living standard of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. In fact, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
usually
issue incentives in the time of disasters to freshen the economy; most recent one is the stimulus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
that are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in response to the COVID-19 pandemic.

Secondly
, consuming create jobs to a huge portion of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
,
directly
and
indirectly
. If there is no one to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
certain product then there is no need to produce it in the
first
place.
Hence
, more buying and consuming equals more manufacturing and producing
as a result
more jobs.

However
, consuming
profusely
has its disadvantages. Most
noticeably
the environmental pollution and the global warming. Plastic is the most material produced and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in the products that are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
, and it does not decompose overtime and harm the environment and the animals living in it. Another issue is the air pollution that
is caused
by the gases from the factories.

In conclusion
, consuming is a necessary activity in any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
, it has its downside by affecting the environment,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the advantages in the economy that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
with it outweigh those disadvantages.
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IELTS essay Do you believe the benefits of a consumer society outweigh the disadvantages? Explain your answer

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
279 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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