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Caring for children is important for the society. Do you think parents should take up a childcare training course? Give reasons and relevant examples to support your ideas You should write at least 250 words

Caring for children is important for the society. Do you think parents should take up a childcare training course? Give reasons and relevant examples to support your ideas XG7JN
Ever since the history of mankind, childcare is indispensable in order to bring about a bright future. However, nowadays, there has been stigmata that parents should undergo a childcare course in order to provide the best care possible. In my perspectives, I do not concur with this fact that parents must be trained and they should have their own alternatives. To begin with, In conclusion, despite conventional beliefs that parents ought to join a course, parents should be at their own freedoms
Ever since the history of mankind, childcare is indispensable in order to bring about a bright future.
However
, nowadays, there has been stigmata that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should undergo a childcare course in order to provide the best care possible. In my perspectives, I do not concur with this fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
trained and
they should have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
alternatives.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,

In conclusion
, despite conventional beliefs that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
ought to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
a course,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should be at their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
freedoms
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IELTS essay Caring for children is important for the society. Do you think parents should take up a childcare training course? Give reasons and relevant examples to support your ideas

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
81 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • Caring for children is important for the society. Do you think parents should take up a childcare training course? Give reasons and relevant examples to support your ideas You should write at least 250 words