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Do you agree with the writer's views on the value of modern inventions? Why or why not?

Do you agree with the writer's views on the value of modern inventions? Why or why not? R0JDW
Modern inventions have made life more comfortable than what it was before. More and more new things are being made in all countries throughout the world to make life even more comfortable. In the past men had great difficulty in ploughing their lands to grow food. But, today, giant machines are used to plough thousands of acres of land. As a result, more food can be grown in a shorter time than was possible before. To carry the food motor-vehicles, steam-ships and various other means of transport have been invented. Shortage of food in one place no longer causes anxiety as it can be brought from another place within a very short time. The invention of the means of transport has also made it possible for people to work in places miles away, and children can attend schools in distant places. In the past, this was not possible. The children of today are therefore better educated than those of the past. Invention of the means of transport has also increased human activity. A man can now go to several places, and do a variety of things in a day's time Other inventions like the radio and the telephone have also contributed much to human progress. The radio keeps us informed about developments in other parts of the world. We do not have to travel to know what is happening in places away from our homes. The telephone too is a convenient means of knowing about others, miles away. It helps in business transactions by reducing time and travel. A businessman in one town can talk to another in another town, several miles away, to do some important business. In all these ways, people are able to do many things without much loss of time. In the same way, every invention has helped to increase our comforts. Television, for example, now makes it possible for people to stay at home and enjoy. At the same time, however, modern inventions have caused many deaths and much sorrow to many people. Yet modern inventions have made the world what it is today.
Modern inventions have made life more comfortable than what it was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. More and more new things are
being made
in all countries throughout the world to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
life even more comfortable.

In the past
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
had great difficulty in
Possible spelling mistake found.
ploughing
their lands to grow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, giant machines are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
Possible spelling mistake. 'plough' is British English.
plough
thousands of acres of land.
As a result
, more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
can
be grown
in a shorter time than was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
possible
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. To carry the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
motor-vehicles, steam-ships and various other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
means
of transport have
been invented
. Shortage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
in one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
no longer causes anxiety as it can
be brought
from another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
within a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
short time.

The invention of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
means
of transport has
also
made it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
possible
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to work in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
miles
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
away
, and children can attend schools in distant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
. In the past, this was not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
possible
. The children of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
are
therefore
better educated than those of the past. Invention of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
means
of transport has
also
increased human activity. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
go to several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
, and do a variety of things in a day's
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
time


Other inventions like the radio and the telephone have
also
contributed much to human progress. The radio
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
us informed about developments in other parts of the world. We do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
travel to know what is happening in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
away
from our homes. The telephone too is a convenient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
means
of knowing about others, miles
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
away
. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in business transactions by reducing time and travel. A businessman in one town can talk to another in another town, several miles
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
away
, to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
business. In all these ways,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are able to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things without much loss of time.

In the same way
, every invention has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
to increase our comforts. Television,
for example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
possible
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to stay at home and enjoy. At the same time,
however
, modern inventions have caused
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
deaths and much sorrow to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Yet
modern inventions
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
have


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
made
the world what it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.
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IELTS essay Do you agree with the writer's views on the value of modern inventions? Why or why not?

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
349 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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