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Do you agree with smacking the children?

Do you agree with smacking the children? lWQPJ
Some people believe that the best way to train children at an early age is using physical punishment. These people claim that the best way to make children more disciplined is to be harsh to them at times. This essay will discuss why being patient and ignore some mistakes is the most effective way to make them behave in a better way. Parents have always been wary about training and educating their children. This concern is completely understandable because parents want the best for their children. They believe some sort of punishment is necessary to make children behave more appropriately sometimes. They want that children take life more seriously. Furthermore, they also think that using smacking will maintain a positive influence on children's behavior in a long term. Unfortunately, some parents don't pay enough attention to the training and as the result, their children become less responsible in the future that causing the increase of crimes and other social problems. For these reasons, parents might think that smacking their sons and daughter when they behave rudely is necessary, especially these days that the tendency of the young generation to do unacceptable actions is increasing. On the other hand, physical punishment is considered as a traditional wrong way to educating children. Some researchers show that this sort of punishment and being strict to the young generation may influence them adversely. Besides that, this can also create insecurities in children and have a considerably negative impact on their self-confidence. For instance, They can also learn this aggressive manner and have problems making friends for themselves. Therefore, physical punishments are not acceptable. Nowadays, psychologists suggest a more efficient and modern way to train children. This essay argued that why using physical punishments is not acceptable in modern society, and it has a root in wrong beliefs and flawed understanding of the right ways to training the young generation. In my opinion, using violence against children is not only irrational, but also very damaging. The best way for parents is to learn new methods and avoid physical punishment.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
way to train
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
at an early age is using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
. These
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
claim that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
more disciplined is to be harsh to them at times. This essay will discuss why being patient and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
mistakes is the most effective way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them behave in a better way.

Parents have always been wary about training and educating their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. This concern is completely understandable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
want the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. They believe
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sort of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
is necessary to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
behave more
appropriately
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
. They want that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
take life more
seriously
.
Furthermore
, they
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that using smacking will maintain a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
influence on children's behavior in a long term. Unfortunately,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
don't pay
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
attention to the training and as the result, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
become less responsible in the future that causing the increase of crimes and other social problems. For these reasons,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that smacking their sons and daughter when they behave
rudely
is necessary,
especially
these days that the tendency of the young generation to do unacceptable actions is increasing.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
is considered
as a traditional
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
way to educating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
researchers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that this sort of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
and being strict to the young generation may influence them
adversely
.
Besides
that, this can
also
create insecurities in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and have a
considerably
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on their self-confidence.
For instance
, They can
also
learn this aggressive manner and have problems making friends for themselves.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
are not acceptable. Nowadays, psychologists suggest a more efficient and modern way to train children.

This essay argued that why using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
is not acceptable in modern society, and it has a root in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
beliefs and flawed understanding of the right ways to training the young generation. In my opinion, using violence against
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
irrational,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
damaging. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
way for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
is to learn new methods and avoid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
.
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IELTS essay Do you agree with smacking the children?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
344 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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