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Do you agree that you can purchase everything from a large store than purchasing things from the shops which are specialized in those shops v.1

Do you agree that you can purchase everything from a large store than purchasing things from the shops which are specialized in those shops v. 1
We need many things apart for our daily life. And while purchasing these items, we always look for our profit. In order to maximize our profit, we go from one shop to another and often search for the quality which suits us best. I totally disagree with the statement that ' we purchase everything from a large store rather than purchasing things from the shops which are particularly designed in those shops. ' When we buy items from specialized shops, the quality is better. The designers or artisans in those stores will be highly trained and skilled towards the designing of that specific product. Large stores, which are not specialized in design of any elemental product, rarely have a quality that can much the items of previously mentioned shops. As a result, these specialized shops have highly trustworthy items, which can remain undamaged for a long time. Also, there may be times when we buy some cheap article from a very large shop. The article bought was not of high quality. And it became damaged and then useless, only after a short period of time. Then we will certainly feel the need to buy the same item again. As we are buying the same item repeatedly. Also, it must be costly as large stores do not give articles at a cheap rate. So ultimately, this is increasing our expenditure. For instance, few years back when I was shopping to buy myself two pairs of foot-wears. One I bought from a very large store, which was selling clothes, accessories, sports items etc. Other I bought from a well known brand, which only design shoes. The former one became useless after some weeks. While the latter one continued till three to four years. To sum up, I would just say that we have to be very careful while buying ourselves items. There are many fake companies available that are ready to cheat the customers. Specialized shops will provide us with quality materials and will leave us with satisfaction.
We need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things apart for our daily life. And while purchasing these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
, we always look for our profit. In order to maximize our profit, we go from one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
to another and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
search for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
which suits us best. I
totally
disagree with the statement that ' we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
everything from a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
store
rather
than purchasing things from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
which are
particularly
designed in those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
. '

When we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
from specialized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
is better. The designers or artisans in those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
will be
highly
trained and skilled towards the designing of that specific product.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
, which are not specialized in design of any elemental product, rarely have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
that can much the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
of previously mentioned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
.
As a result
, these specialized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
have
highly
trustworthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
, which can remain undamaged for a long time.

Also
, there may be times when we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
article from a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
. The article
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
was not of high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
. And it became damaged and then useless,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
after a short period of time. Then we will
certainly
feel the need to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
item
again.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
we are buying the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
item
repeatedly
.
Also
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be costly as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
do not give articles at a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
rate.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
ultimately
, this is increasing our expenditure.

For instance
, few years back when I was shopping to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
myself two pairs of foot-wears. One I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
from a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
store
, which was selling clothes, accessories, sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
etc. Other I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
from a well known brand, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
design shoes. The former one became useless after
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
weeks.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
the latter one continued till three to four years.

To sum up, I would
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
say that we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
careful while buying ourselves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
fake
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
available that are ready to cheat the customers. Specialized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
will provide us with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
materials and will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
us with satisfaction.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
35Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Do you agree that you can purchase everything from a large store than purchasing things from the shops which are specialized in those shops v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
336 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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