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do you agree or disagree? we can learn about a person from books or movies which this person likes. v.109

we can learn about a person from books or movies which this person likes. v. 109
The question is whether movies and books that a person watches or reads, can be as a indicator of his personality or not. Everyone in consideration to his private perspective may maintain a specific direction toward this statement. For instance, in a heated discussion, some believed movies or books advertise our character while others claimed the judgment of humans and their personality depends on the purposes which they pursue from reading books or watching movies. I am unanimous with the latter group, so the next paragraphs will vastly elucidate my vantage point through two salient reasons: To begin with, there is one type of humans who prefer to choose the books or movies which are appropriate with their spirit; hence, gaining knowledge about a person will not be a formidable task. For example, take a girl would rather watch romantic films; therefore, her character can account as a sensitive person who enjoy beauties; however, one should not forget that occasionally people would like to select their activities base on their interest; consequently, obtain an understatement about them can be problematic. Again take an example that same girl with tranquil soul but her favorite and fantasy may lead her to watch the aggressive movies or fiction books or magazines. In this way, judging this girl as an angry or imaginary person would be unfair. The second reason for my argument lies the fact that sometimes people are involved in books which neither are adequate with their soul nor their interest. It can be said that a man might read only one type of book for several years because he is looking for a goal simply. To better understand, take my own experience. When I was studying in the university in the computer filed, one day a history professor suggested me to collaborate with him for doing an archaeology project about pottery in Iron Age. It could be a perfect offer for my resume. As a matter a fact, I had to write some codes related to dates of potteries, however, this task required me to research about pottery among a wide range of historical books. Frankly, it was tedious work for me but I had to tolerate if I wanted to have a bright future. In short, we may observe living beings who are reading a type of book but the evaluation of their character need to know their purposes. To sum up, this conclusion could be drawn that only when books or movies can be an accurate tool for perceiving humans if we know their aims from doing these activities.
The question is whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watches
or reads, can be as
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
indicator of his personality or not. Everyone in consideration to his private perspective may maintain a specific direction toward this statement.
For instance
, in a heated discussion,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
advertise our character while others claimed the judgment of humans and their personality depends on the purposes which they pursue from reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
or watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
. I am unanimous with the latter group,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the
next
paragraphs will
vastly
elucidate my vantage point through two salient reasons:

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there is one type of humans who prefer to choose the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
which are appropriate with their spirit;
hence
, gaining knowledge about a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
will not be a formidable task.
For example
, take a girl would
rather
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
romantic films;
therefore
, her character can account as a sensitive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
who enjoy beauties;
however
, one should not forget that
occasionally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would like to select their activities base on their interest;
consequently
, obtain an understatement about them can be problematic. Again take an example that same girl with tranquil soul
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
her favorite and fantasy may lead her to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
the aggressive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
or fiction
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
or magazines. In this way, judging this girl as an angry or imaginary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
would be unfair.

The second reason for my argument lies the fact that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are involved
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
which neither are adequate with their soul nor their interest. It can
be said
that a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
might read
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
for several years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he is looking for a goal
simply
. To better understand, take my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
experience. When I was studying in the university
The usual collocation for technology is "on," not "in." It is better to say this: "on the computer".
in the computer
filed, one day a history professor suggested me to collaborate with him for doing an archaeology project about pottery in Iron Age. It could be a perfect offer for my resume. As a matter a fact, I had to write
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
codes related to dates of potteries,
however
, this task required me to research about pottery among a wide range of historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
.
Frankly
, it was tedious work for me
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I had to tolerate if I wanted to have a bright future. In short, we may observe living beings who are reading a type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the evaluation of their character need to know their purposes.

To sum up, this conclusion could
be drawn
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
can be an accurate tool for perceiving humans if we know their aims from doing these activities.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay we can learn about a person from books or movies which this person likes. v. 109

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
430 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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