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Do the advantages of change outweigh the disadvantages?

Do the advantages of change outweigh the disadvantages? p53N3
There are conflicting views on the issue of change. Many people said that change has a lot of benefits than trying to evade it. I strongly agree with this view, and in this essay, I will support my opinion with examples. Let’s begin by looking at the reasons for my opinion. First of all, change can lead us to personal growth. In other words, we can develop our life skills through changes. For instance, our life is full of changes. Although we have experienced many changes since we were young, especially after suffering, we can develop skills such as insight, judgment, and think about various aspects of life. Through this experience, we can learn lessons and get a lot of help in the future. Another reason why I agree is that change can bring up improvements. What I mean is that we all have things in our lives we would like to improve like Jobs, policies, partners, etc… but this would never change if we keep avoiding it. Due to that, people keep protesting against their national government. For example, George Floyd, Myanmar's pro-democracy movement. We need to do something different from before to make that happen. Without change, there’d be no improvements. On the other hand, there is a good argument to be made that there are more advantages to ignoring change. In business aspects, sometimes change can be the wrong solution. Organizations often start to change because they have a problem that needs to be solved. But it is dangerous to assume you know the root cause of a problem and implement a solution early. Sometimes management does not adequately investigate the true cause of a problem, the affected by the solution, and possibly unintended outcomes of change. To sum up, there are clearly strong arguments on both sides of this issue. Although it may be true that change is helpful in some cases, I would argue that changes can have lots of good impacts on our life.
There are conflicting views on the issue of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
said that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
benefits than trying to evade it. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view, and in this essay, I will support my opinion with examples.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
by looking at the reasons for my opinion.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
can lead us to personal growth.
In other words
, we can develop our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
.
For instance
, our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is full of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
. Although we have experienced
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
since we were young,
especially
after suffering, we can develop
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
such as insight, judgment, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about various aspects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Through this experience, we can learn lessons and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in the future. Another reason why I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
can bring up improvements. What I mean is that we all have things in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
we would like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
like Jobs, policies, partners, etc…
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this would never
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
if we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
avoiding it. Due to that,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
protesting against their national
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.
For example
, George Floyd, Myanmar's pro-democracy movement. We need to do something
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
that happen. Without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
, there’d be no improvements.

On the other hand
, there is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
argument to
be made
that there are more advantages to ignoring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
. In business aspects,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
can be the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
solution. Organizations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have a problem that needs to
be solved
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
to assume you know the root cause of a problem and implement a solution early.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
management does not
adequately
investigate the true cause of a problem, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by the solution, and
possibly
unintended outcomes of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
.

To sum up, there are
clearly
strong arguments on both sides of this issue. Although it may be true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
is helpful in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases, I would argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
can have lots of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
impacts on our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
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IELTS essay Do the advantages of change outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
330 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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