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Do people entertain themselves less because modern technology has made them less creative?

Do people entertain themselves less because modern technology has made them less creative? VwDlO
In the modern era, an invasion of cutting-edge technology has accelerated the style of working among each citizen. A number of persons argued that novice equipment gradually declines the interest of humans to do various activities. Personally, I reckon that technology enhances the skills of individuals at the personal and professional levels. In the following passages, I would elucidate some facts in brief that oppose the statement. On the one hand, to embark on the personal period of every human which has filled with a plethora of choices with the usage of technology. Firstly, numerous entertainment sources comprised in the advanced electronics, for example, countless programs on national and international channels, online video games, messages and face chatting applications and air-chair tourisms. Secondly, people get amazed by themselves by the utilizations of enormous techniques, for instance, 7- the dimensional show is an irrefutable device that takes viewers to the height of an experiment. Furthermore, creativity becomes the easiest method for the creators to work quickly and with perfection. For example, Youtube applications attain a huge quantity of videos teaching about the proper way to utilize the waste material or any sort of creativity that people want to do by themselves. Moreover, these days, electronics holders obtain a great spell to engage themselves in a number of activities to feel happiness. Additionally, each dweller loves to live a solitary life and acquire advantage from the new creations. To conclude, it recapitulates the ideas behind the use of inventions in the whole world. I, therefore, persuade everyone intention that brand new products facilitate the way of working with the comprises of entainment.
In the modern era, an invasion of cutting-edge technology has accelerated the style of working among each citizen. A number of persons argued that novice equipment
gradually
declines the interest of humans to do various activities.
Personally
, I reckon that technology enhances the
skills
of individuals at the personal and professional levels. In the following passages, I would elucidate
some
facts
in brief
that oppose the statement.

On the one hand, to embark on the personal period of every human which has filled with a plethora of choices with the usage of technology.
Firstly
, numerous entertainment sources comprised in the advanced electronics,
for example
, countless programs on national and international channels, online video games, messages and face chatting applications and air-chair
tourisms
.
Secondly
,
people
get
amazed by themselves by the
utilizations
of enormous techniques,
for instance
, 7- the dimensional
show
is an irrefutable device that takes viewers to the height of an experiment.

Furthermore
, creativity becomes the easiest method for the creators to work
quickly
and with perfection.
For example
,
Youtube
applications attain a huge quantity of videos teaching about the proper way to utilize the waste material or any sort of creativity that
people
want to do by themselves.

Moreover
, these days, electronics holders obtain a great spell to engage themselves in a number of activities to feel happiness.
Additionally
, each dweller
loves
to
live
a solitary life and acquire advantage from the new creations.

To conclude
, it recapitulates the
ideas
behind the
use
of inventions in the whole world. I,
therefore
, persuade everyone intention that
brand new
products facilitate the way of working with the
comprises of
entainment
.
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IELTS essay Do people entertain themselves less because modern technology has made them less creative?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
270 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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