Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Do national policies like “The War of Drugs” (which severely criminalize and punish the sales of drugs) harm or help addicts? What about poor communities? What about youth?

Do national policies like “The War of Drugs” (which severely criminalize and punish the sales of drugs) harm or help addicts? What about poor communities? What about youth? 1ANJX
Nowadays, there has been a huge concern about an increasing level of drugs addiction among earth population. Statistics have shown that widespread national policy strategies against drugs start experience failure. However, it does not only create problems for underclass communities, it also influences younger generation. In my opinion, there should be a better approach to reduce the number of drags users, overwise the damage will rise. To begin with, drags spreading is considered to be one of the global issues. Therefore, it could be seen that most of the distributions happen in the poor areas. It occurs there due to the fact that citizens face a lack of work places. In other words, setting a new low against drags, authorities take the opportunity to earn some money for this group of individuals. If government would focus on reasons why drags is popular, there would be less demand on its production as well as consuming. Furthermore, there are other groups of people who are under the influence of using drugs. This is usually teenagers at the age of 16-20, who occupy about 60% of all drug addicts. Moreover, this number is growing every year which proves inefficiency of old governmental methods against this problem. Therefore, it could be better to launch certain social programs at schools, which would ensure children of consequences of using drugs. In my opinion, there should be certain punishment for distribution of drugs, although, it is essential to change people’s attitudes towards drugs. For instance, Nederland made a decision to legalize it in order to control the quality, at the same point as the world control alcohol. In conclusion, there are certain individuals who depend on this business due to the fact that government do not provide additional job opportunities for them. Additionally, the forbidden fruit is always sweet therefor drags have always attracted people, especially, adolescents. Therefore, governments should find modern approach to reduce demand.
Nowadays, there has been a huge concern about an increasing level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
addiction among earth population. Statistics have shown that widespread national policy strategies against
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
experience failure.
However
, it does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
create problems for underclass communities, it
also
influences younger generation. In my opinion, there should be a better approach to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drags
users,
Possible spelling mistake found.
overwise
the damage will rise.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drags
spreading
is considered
to be one of the global issues.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Therefore
, it could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that most of the distributions happen in the poor areas. It occurs there due to the fact that citizens face a lack of work places.
In other words
, setting a new low against
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drags
, authorities take the opportunity to earn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
money for this group of individuals. If
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
Consider removing 'would'. (Usually, 'would' does not occur in a conditional clause, unless to make a request or give a polite order.)
would focus
on reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drags
is popular, there would be less demand on its production
as well
as consuming.

Furthermore
, there are other groups of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who are under the influence of using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
. This is
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
at the age of 16-20, who occupy about 60% of all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
addicts.
Moreover
, this number is growing every year which proves inefficiency of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
governmental methods against this problem.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Therefore
, it could be better to launch certain social programs at schools, which would ensure children of consequences of using drugs.

In my opinion, there should be certain punishment for distribution of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
, although, it is essential to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s attitudes towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
.
For instance
, Nederland made a decision to legalize it in order to control the quality, at the same point as the world control alcohol.

In conclusion
, there are certain individuals who depend on this business due to the fact that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
do not provide additional job opportunities for them.
Additionally
, the forbidden fruit is always sweet therefor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drags
have always attracted
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
especially
, adolescents.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Therefore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should find modern approach to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
demand.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Do national policies like “The War of Drugs” (which severely criminalize and punish the sales of drugs) harm or help addicts? What about poor communities? What about youth?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
319 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts