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discuss the effects of extracurricular activities on students.

discuss the effects of extracurricular activities on students. 1oL87
It is credited that extracurricular activities will motivate the student to develop themselves as well as possible. However, people against this attitude expose the disadvantages of out-of-school activities. To me, honestly, participants' extra-curriculum programs have both their merits and demerits. Generally, outdoor activities are highly beneficial for almost all students. First and foremost, students can improve a large number of essential knowledge and practices for study and further work. This is because taking part in these activities allows students to learn how to teamwork effectively, create a complete program, and lead a group, which make a contribution to developing their skills. Secondly, they can be significantly experienced during the participation process through exciting trips such as voluntary campaigns or detailed surveys. Furthermore, these experiences will be quite advantageous for students in terms of social relationships. In particular, they can make friends with people both at university and outside. Thus, the students can learn many new helpful things from them, which other people can be inaccessible. On the other hand, spending time joining over-schedule also have some negative impacts on students. Obviously, extracurricular activities take time, which influences their study or work at school. They also can fulfill them to meet the deadline. However, it can not be a perfect performance due to the short amount of time they spend. In addition, taking part in too many outdoor activities make them confront stress and pressure. It is because they have to balance between extracurricular activities and many other factors such as their study, their relationship around them, and even financial problems, thus causing them a host of complaint problems. More seriously, they can be badly injured if students are involved in a sports club or related-sport activities. Although extracurricular activities can help students improve critical skills and have many chances to connect with outside the world, they can cause several complaint problems in terms of health, performance at school. Therefore, the students should consider when deciding to participate in out-of-school activities, and it is vital to balance its and other factors.
It
is credited
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extracurricular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
will motivate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
to develop themselves
as well
as possible.
However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
against this attitude expose the disadvantages of out-of-school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
. To me,
honestly
, participants' extra-curriculum programs have both their merits and demerits.

Generally
, outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
are
highly
beneficial for almost all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
First
and foremost,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
essential knowledge and practices for study and
further
work. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
taking part in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to learn how to teamwork
effectively
, create a complete program, and lead a group, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a contribution to developing their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
Secondly
, they can be
significantly
experienced during the participation process through exciting trips such as voluntary campaigns or detailed surveys.
Furthermore
, these experiences will be quite advantageous for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in terms of social relationships.
In particular
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
friends with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
both at university and outside.
Thus
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
new helpful things from them, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can be inaccessible.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, spending time joining over-schedule
also
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
Obviously
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extracurricular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
take time, which influences their study or work at school. They
also
can fulfill them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the deadline.
However
, it can not be a perfect performance due to the short amount of time they spend.
In addition
, taking part in too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them confront
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and pressure. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
balance between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extracurricular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
factors such as their study, their relationship around them, and even financial problems,
thus
causing them a host of complaint problems. More
seriously
, they can be
badly
injured if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are involved
in a sports club or related-sport activities.

Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extracurricular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
critical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
chances to connect with outside the world, they can cause several complaint problems in terms of health, performance at school.
Therefore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should consider when deciding to participate in out-of-school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
, and it is vital to balance its and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
factors.
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IELTS essay discuss the effects of extracurricular activities on students.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
340 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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