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Discuss the challenges and opportunities that your community has been facing as a result of the Covid-19 pandemic.

Discuss the challenges and opportunities that your community has been facing as a result of the Covid-19 pandemic. PM0GJ
The appearance of the COVID-19 pandemic since the beginning of last year has been seriously affecting many countries in the world and Vietnam has surely felt the impact as well. Yet, while the pandemic has brought many challenges to our community, it has also created opportunities for us to improve and move forward. Both of the views will be clarified and illustrated through my writing as the following. First of all, we shall discuss the challenges. The first challenge that we are coping with is the economy is being seriously damaged. Many reasons are given to explain this decrease, mostly due to the social distancing and social lockdown that separate the community, make it hard for business to grow. Hundreds of big and small companies have been close down during the pandemic. On average, up to seven on ten companies are on the verge of bankrupcy because they can’t maintain their business. On to the second challenge, COVID-19 poses a big threat to people health. This worldwide pandemic has been dominating the whole world for more than two years but it has shown no signs of stopping. And recentley, scientists had just discovered the new race which is even more dangerous and easier to be infected. Also, the number of death has been rising more and more, too. On the newest data uploaded by WHO on June 1st, there are about 171 million COVID-19 cases and 3, 68 million deaths in the world, which is a lot. America now has the most case, about 33, 5 million people and 603 thousand deaths. In our country Vietnam, there are 7625 cases and 48 deaths, but fortunately, there are 3043 recoverered cases. All these stats are growing day by day, but sadly, there are no signs of decrease. Second, we shall talk about the opportunities. Along with the challenges that we have to face, there are some opportunities opening to Vietnam. We can grab the opportunity and have a better chance to develop our community during the pandemic. The first opportunity we can have is the vaccine. As you know, many big medical companies and countries are rushing, trying to find the vaccine help to cure COVID-19. All these pressure to inventing the vaccine accidentally make up a race in vaccine, to see which country could invent the faster and better vaccine. If there was a kind of vaccine that is proved effective, then the chance to cure the virus of that country would be so big and also the financial problem could be dealt when that vaccine would be asked for by other countries. The second opportunity is our chance to show the love and care for our community. Many benefactors and philanthropists have been donating billions of money and an enormous amount of masks, clothes, gloves and handwashing gel. The places which are under the huge impact of COVID-19 would be so grateful to receive the help from donators. Everone will have the chance to be closer and understand each other. In a nutshell, the COVID-19 both brings the challenges and the opportunities for us. We should grab the opportunities to fight back the pandemic and help ourselves to develop in the near future.
The appearance of the COVID-19 pandemic since the beginning of last year has been
seriously
affecting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in the world and Vietnam has
surely
felt the impact
as well
.
Yet
, while the pandemic has brought
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
challenges
to our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
, it has
also
created
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
for us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
forward. Both of the views will
be clarified
and illustrated through my writing as the following.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, we shall discuss the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
challenges
. The
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
challenge
that we are coping with is the economy is being
seriously
damaged.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
reasons are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
this decrease,
mostly
due to the social distancing and social lockdown that separate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for business to grow. Hundreds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
have been close down during the pandemic. On average, up to seven on ten
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are on the verge of
Possible spelling mistake found.
bankrupcy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can’t maintain their business. On to the second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
challenge
, COVID-19 poses a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
threat to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
health. This worldwide pandemic has been dominating the whole world for more than two years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it has shown no signs of stopping. And
Possible spelling mistake found.
recentley
, scientists had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
discovered the new race which is even more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
and easier to
be infected
.
Also
, the number of death has been rising more and more, too. On the newest data uploaded by WHO on June 1st, there are about 171 million COVID-19 cases and 3, 68 million deaths in the world, which is a lot. America
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
has the most case, about 33, 5 million
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and 603 thousand deaths. In our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
Vietnam, there are 7625 cases and 48 deaths,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
fortunately
, there are 3043
Possible spelling mistake found.
recoverered
cases. All these stats are growing day by day,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
sadly
, there are no signs of decrease.

Second, we shall talk about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
. Along with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
challenges
that we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
opening to Vietnam. We can grab the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunity
and have a better chance to develop our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
during the pandemic. The
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunity
we can have is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vaccine
. As you know,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
medical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are rushing, trying to find the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vaccine
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to cure COVID-19. All these pressure to inventing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vaccine
accidentally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
up a race in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vaccine
, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
could invent the faster and better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vaccine
. If there was a kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vaccine
that
is proved
effective, then the chance to cure the virus of that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
would be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
and
also
the financial problem could
be dealt
when that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vaccine
would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
asked for
by other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. The second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunity
is our chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and care for our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
benefactors and philanthropists have been donating billions of money and an enormous amount of masks, clothes, gloves and handwashing gel. The places which are under the huge impact of COVID-19 would be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
grateful to receive the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
from
Possible spelling mistake found.
donators
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Everone
will have the chance to be closer and understand each other.

In a nutshell, the COVID-19 both brings the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
challenges
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
for us. We should grab the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
to fight back the pandemic and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
ourselves to develop in the near future.
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IELTS essay Discuss the challenges and opportunities that your community has been facing as a result of the Covid-19 pandemic.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
534 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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