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discuss some of the effect of rural depulation and suggest some way on which this trend could be serve

discuss some of the effect of rural depulation and suggest some way on which this trend could be serve Ym2pB
While country towns were once vibrant and growing places, these days many appear to be dying as people move to the city in search of work and excitement. In this essay, I intend to discuss the impact of this problem as well as how more people could be encouraged to live in the rural areas. Surprisingly, the most serious consequences of rural depopulation are often felt in urban areas. As a result of overcrowding, cities throughout the world today are increasing prone to environment problems like air, water and noise pollution. Beijing is a particularly good example of this. Further, the uncontrolled growth of cities also gives rise to social problems such as high unemployment, crime and in less affluent countries, the creation of slums. Clearly, there is a limit to how many people can live in one area before living standards are negatively influenced In order to stem the tide of rural depopulation, I believe we must first address its root causes. At the heart of the matter is the disparity between services and facilities in the country and those in the city. I firmly believe that urban and rural dwellers alike would find the idea of country life far more appealing if high quality shopping centers, cinemas, swimming pools, restaurants, libraries, schools and hospitals were more readily available in the country. One more further method of attracting people to the country would be for government to provide financial incentives to business and professional workers who willingly relocate to rural areas In reality, this problem is unlikely to be resolved in the short term. However, it is by no means insurmountable, and I am convinced that more people will choose the country as city life becomes less comfortable and more expensive.
While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
towns were once vibrant and growing places, these days
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
appear to be dying as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to the city in search of work and excitement. In this essay, I intend to discuss the impact of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
as well
as how more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could
be encouraged
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
areas.

Surprisingly
, the most serious consequences of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
depopulation are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
felt in urban areas.
As a result
of overcrowding,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
throughout the world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
are increasing prone to environment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
like air, water and noise pollution. Beijing is a
particularly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example of this.
Further
, the uncontrolled growth of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
also
gives rise to social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
such as high unemployment, crime and in less affluent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, the creation of slums.
Clearly
, there is a limit to how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in one area
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
living standards are
negatively
influenced

In order to stem the tide of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
depopulation, I believe we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
first
address its root causes. At the heart of the matter is the disparity between services and facilities in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and those in the city. I
firmly
believe that urban and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
dwellers alike would find the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
life far more appealing if high quality shopping centers, cinemas, swimming pools, restaurants, libraries, schools and hospitals were more
readily
available in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. One more
further
method of attracting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
would be for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to provide financial incentives to business and professional workers who
willingly
relocate to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
areas


In reality, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is unlikely to
be resolved
in the short term.
However
, it is by no means insurmountable, and I
am convinced
that more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will choose the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
as city life becomes less comfortable and more expensive.
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IELTS essay discuss some of the effect of rural depulation and suggest some way on which this trend could be serve

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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