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Discuss how to use leisure time

Discuss how to use leisure time xOonN
According to google there are more than three million searches a day, about time allocation. You are expected to work, study, do house chores, and sleep in only 24 hours, and some times there is barely any free time left, thus how should we spend our leisure time? In this essay I will discuss two different views about how you should spend your leisure time, whether it is best to use your free time in imporving your mind or if you should use it for relaxation. On the one hand, an individual is need of dire rest so he/she will be able to perform their activities better. Moreover, studies have shown that without resting people perform around 60% worse than if they rest. For instance, pro athletes are always advised to rest during their leisure time so their bodies and minds can perform better. Sometimes, a person might decide to rest if he/she had a rough day and are in need of some quality rest time. On other hand, it is people who allocate their time efficiently that suceed in life, for example Tesla's CEO Elon Musk only had a week's rest for the last 12 years, he is constantly working on his companies and therefore he was able to attain great wealth in a relatively short period. Moreover, using your leisure time to study or learn new things gives people a better advantage over those who don't, especialy in today's competitive world. To sum up, I believe that although, it is benefical to use leisure time in learning new carfts, it is more important to rest properly. With proper time management any person will be able to use his/her time effectively, hence you can allocate time for activities that imporve your mindset, and still be able to relax.
According to google there are more than three million searches a day, about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
allocation. You are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to work, study, do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
chores, and sleep in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
24 hours, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
there is
barely
any free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
,
thus
how should we spend our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
? In this essay I will discuss two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views about how you should spend your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, whether it is best to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
your free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
imporving
your mind or if you should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it for relaxation.

On the one hand, an individual
is need
of dire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rest
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
he/she will be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to perform their activities better.
Moreover
, studies have shown that without resting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
perform around 60% worse than if they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rest
.
For instance
, pro athletes are always advised to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rest
during their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
their bodies and minds can perform better.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
, a person might decide to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rest
if he/she had a rough day and are in need of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rest
time.

On other hand, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who allocate their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
efficiently
that
Possible spelling mistake found.
suceed
in life,
for example
Tesla's CEO Elon Musk
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
had a week's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rest
for the last 12 years, he is
constantly
working on his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and
therefore
he was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to attain great wealth in a
relatively
short period.
Moreover
, using your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to study or learn new things gives
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
a better advantage over those who don't,
Possible spelling mistake found.
especialy
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's competitive world.

To sum up, I believe that although, it is
Possible spelling mistake found.
benefical
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in learning new
Possible spelling mistake found.
carfts
, it is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rest
properly
. With proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
management any person will be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
his/her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
effectively
,
hence
you can allocate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for activities that
Possible spelling mistake found.
imporve
your mindset, and
still
be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to relax.
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IELTS essay Discuss how to use leisure time

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
299 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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