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Discuss how graduating from college change your life

Discuss how graduating from college change your life y7MBr
After finishing high school, not many students choose to continue going to college. In my opinion, I believe that graduating from college is beneficial to our life. Firstly, having a degree helps you to have better career opportunities. In college, students have to follow directions for a lot of things involving bookwork or groups project, which are viewed as proof by employers in majors such as businesses, art, or architecture that you can follow the rules without having them give instruction all the time. It also creates chances of promotion to a higher position and income. According to The U. S Census Bureau, students with a bachelor’s degree earn nearly half more than those with a high school diploma during their career. Secondly, your career network might become more valuable. There are numerous volunteer organizations and professional societies where you can meet others who are in your field. Through these contacts, you may gain experiences that will look good on your resume. Additionally, getting along with professors who can later provide access to resources or tools that you can discuss to learn more about which industry you hope to enter. A study shows that 80 percent of students who engage in extracurricular activities are likely to become mature in building their network by actively interact with everybody and have advantages when it comes to being hired by a large company in their fields. Finally, earning a degree allows you to develop personally. During college courses, teachers always require students to overcome all types of adversities and prepare not only for the workplace but for dealing with other challenges. Time management and organization, for example, are needed when you have multiple classes. Being required to complete challenges one after another, ranging from financial responsibilities to passing tests, not only will you need to be intelligent but the discipline to complete schooling. Teachers will help develop these traits throughout college. In conclusion, graduating from college give students advantages throughout career development.
After finishing high school, not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
choose to continue going to college. In my opinion, I believe that graduating from college is beneficial to our life.

Firstly
, having a degree
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
you to have better career opportunities. In college,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
follow directions for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
things involving
Possible spelling mistake found.
bookwork
or groups project, which
are viewed
as proof by employers in majors such as businesses, art, or architecture that you can follow the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
without having them give instruction all the time. It
also
creates chances of promotion to a higher position and income. According to The U. S Census Bureau,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with a bachelor’s degree earn
nearly
half more than those with a high school diploma during their career.

Secondly
, your career network might become more valuable. There are numerous volunteer organizations and professional societies where you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
others who are in your field. Through these contacts, you may gain experiences that will look
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
on your resume.
Additionally
, getting along with professors who can later provide access to resources or tools that you can
The verb 'discuss' is used with the gerund form: "discuss learning".
discuss to learn
more about which industry you hope to enter. A study
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that 80 percent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who engage in extracurricular activities are likely to become mature in building their network by
actively
interact with everybody and have advantages when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to
being hired
by a large
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
in their fields.

Finally
, earning a degree
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
you to develop
personally
. During college courses, teachers always require
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to overcome all types of adversities and prepare not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for the workplace
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
for dealing with other challenges. Time management and organization,
for example
,
are needed
when you have multiple classes.
Being required
to complete challenges one after another, ranging from financial responsibilities to passing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tests
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
will you need to be intelligent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the discipline to complete schooling. Teachers will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
develop these traits throughout college.

In conclusion
, graduating from college give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
advantages throughout career development.
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IELTS essay Discuss how graduating from college change your life

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
329 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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