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discuss advantage and disavantage

discuss advantage and disavantage 6mDEj
Several companies have the policy of paying bonus money as a form of reward to the employees with excellent work. This method has its benefits as well as drawbacks. In this essay, I want to discuss both sides of the issue and draw a conclusion. One of the most remarkable advantages of rewarding good work with money is that it encourages a friendly competitive spirit among colleagues. Intending to win the handsome prize, company-workers are more likely to increase their work proficiency by putting their mind on the task and finish it earlier than others. In addition, keeping a record of who is doing a great job and who is not shows the employees that their superiors are watching over them, and their efforts are appreciated. Knowing their contribution to the company is being noticed may urge the members of staff to be more whole-hearted in what they do. Having said that, the employment of this scheme can also cause conflicts in the working environment. In many cases, in the race to become the top banana, the intensity can take arguments too far and break the relationship between co-workers, which goes against the initial purpose of creating a positive competitive atmosphere. Another downside to be discussed is that it discourages the enthusiasm of those with limited professional competence, in other words, the employees who can’t compete against others. Not everyone is capable of being in the spotlight. Within their ability, some can only make small contributions as a part of a team or do handy works. Watching others being excellent and rewarded is not exactly comforting. All things considered, using money as a rewarding method has its positives and negatives. The bonus can create a competitive atmosphere in the workplace and let employees know that their contribution is appreciated. On the other hand, the friendliness of the scheme can always be broken and not everyone can benefit from it. From my viewpoint, a smart employer knows how to balance out the pros and cons and make the best use of their juniors.
Several
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
have the policy of paying bonus money as a form of reward to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
with excellent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. This method has its benefits
as well
as drawbacks. In this essay, I want to discuss both sides of the issue and draw a conclusion.

One of the most remarkable advantages of rewarding
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
with money is that it encourages a friendly competitive spirit among colleagues. Intending to win the handsome prize,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
-workers are more likely to increase their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
proficiency by putting their mind on the task and finish it earlier than others.

In addition
, keeping a record of who is doing a great job and who is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
that their superiors are watching over them, and their efforts
are appreciated
. Knowing their contribution to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
is
being noticed
may urge the members of staff to be more whole-hearted in what they do.

Having said that, the employment of this scheme can
also
cause conflicts in the working environment. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases, in the race to become the top banana, the intensity can take arguments too far and break the relationship between co-workers, which goes against the initial purpose of creating a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
competitive atmosphere.

Another downside to
be discussed
is that it discourages the enthusiasm of those with limited professional competence, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
who can’t compete against others. Not everyone is capable of being in the spotlight. Within their ability,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
contributions as a part of a team or do handy works. Watching others being excellent and rewarded is not exactly comforting.

All things considered, using money as a rewarding method has its positives and negatives. The bonus can create a competitive atmosphere in the workplace and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
know that their contribution
is appreciated
. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, the friendliness of the scheme can always
be broken
and not everyone can benefit from it. From my viewpoint, a smart employer knows how to balance out the pros and cons and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the best
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of their juniors.
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IELTS essay discuss advantage and disavantage

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
342 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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