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Discuss about zoo. Should it be shutted down or not?

Discuss about zoo. Should it be shutted down or not? 2xrwx
The zoo is a place where different animals are kept and people can watch and monitor their activities. While some people believe that zoos play an important role in protecting wild animals, others feel that keeping animals locked up in such places is cruel and unnecessary. Personally, I agree with the idea that zoos keeping animals locked up in such places is cruel and unnecessary. On the one hand, many people feel that zoos are useful in some regards. Firstly, Zoos can help endangered animals avoid threats by humans or avoid threats in their environment. Secondly, Currently, the holding of animals helps scientists observe animals, study species and the visiting students and students learn and understand materials that will enhance the understanding of these animals. For example, some zoos try to create an artificial, near-habitat for animals so they can be comfortable and adaptable to grow. But I think it does have such nonessential reasons. In their current captivity, I think they will lose their reproductive ability because relatively few species exist. Furthermore, in many zoos, Animals are subject to restrictions on their freedom of action compared to their natural environments or animal sanctuaries and some have shorter lifespan than outdoors because of diminishing their ability to hunt and feed. For example, one reserve is the Big Cat Rescue, and there's no kid in there because of surgical removal of the animal's reproductive organs. Although some zoos have been active in the conservation of animals, it does not mean that it will be good for some animals that are suitable for living in their natural environment. In conclusion, I thought I'd close the zoos, because the zoo could be a cruel place to animals.
The zoo is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
where
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
and monitor their activities. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that zoos play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in protecting wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
, others feel that keeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
locked up in such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
is cruel and unnecessary.
Personally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that zoos keeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
locked up in such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
is cruel and unnecessary.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
feel that zoos are useful in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
regards.
Firstly
, Zoos can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
endangered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
avoid threats by humans or avoid threats in their environment.
Secondly
,
Currently
, the holding of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
scientists observe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
, study species and the visiting students and students learn and understand materials that will enhance the understanding of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
zoos try to create an artificial, near-habitat for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can be comfortable and adaptable to grow.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it does have such nonessential reasons. In their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
captivity, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
they will lose their reproductive ability
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
relatively
few species exist.
Furthermore
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
zoos,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Animals
are subject to restrictions on their freedom of action compared to their natural environments or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
sanctuaries and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
have shorter lifespan than outdoors
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of diminishing their ability to hunt and feed.
For example
, one reserve is the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Big
Cat Rescue, and there's no kid in there
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of surgical removal of the animal's reproductive organs.

Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
zoos have been active in the conservation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
, it does not mean that it will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
that are suitable for living in their natural environment.
In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
I'd close the zoos,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the zoo could be a cruel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
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IELTS essay Discuss about zoo. Should it be shutted down or not?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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