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the most important aspect of a job is the money a person earns

the most important aspect of a job is the money a person earns 3WxeN
I quite agree with the opinion that the most important aspect of a job is the amount of money one earns because in today's life money is very important. People nowadays attach great importance to making money. Nowadays, having a lot of money leads to a high status, and without money, it is difficult to live. To get a perfect job, in addition to needing to fit yourself and society, how much money you make from that job is also very important.
I quite
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the opinion that the most
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important
aspect of a job is the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
one earns
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because
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's life
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money
is
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very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.
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People
nowadays attach great importance to making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. Nowadays, having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
leads to a high status, and without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, it is difficult to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a perfect job,
in addition
to needing to fit yourself and society, how much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
from that job is
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.
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IELTS essay the most important aspect of a job is the money a person earns

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
82 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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