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Discuss about a bag you want to carry. Where you want to buy, how much it will cast you and why you want this kind of bag?

Discuss about a bag you want to carry. Where you want to buy, how much it will cast you and why you want this kind of bag? bYxnY
Nowadays, there are plenty of bags available in the market like shoulder bags, messenger bags etc. If I talk about myself, I think I would like to buy a backpack. Instead of buying it through online sites, I would rather buy it from the shopping mall near my vicinity. Since I would buy a branded backpack, so it may cost me around 2 to 3, 000 rupees. However, sometimes various companies give 10-20% discount for boosting their sales, so if I wait till the offer, it might cost me around 1600 rupees. I prefer this kind of bag because they are more comfortable and practical in day to day use. I commute to different places by scooty so a backpack is an easy option to carry along. Moreover, it distributes the weight equally on both shoulders, so one can carry it for long hours. I would buy a bag which has two chain pockets on the front side so that I can easily carry my wallet and keys, one side pocket for the water bottle and two compartments so that I can arrange clothes and other things properly. It should be waterproof to protect my belongings from rain and water.
Nowadays, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bags
available in the market like shoulder
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bags
, messenger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bags
etc. If I talk about myself, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
I would like to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
a backpack.
Instead
of buying it through online sites, I would
rather
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
it from the shopping mall near my vicinity. Since I would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
a branded backpack,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it may cost me around 2 to 3, 000 rupees.
However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
various
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
give 10-20% discount for boosting their sales,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
if I wait till the offer, it might cost me around 1600 rupees. I prefer this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bag
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are more comfortable and practical in day to day
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
. I commute to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
places by
Possible spelling mistake found.
scooty
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
a backpack is an easy option to carry along.
Moreover
, it distributes the weight
equally
on both shoulders,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
one can carry it for long hours. I would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bag
which has two chain pockets on the front side
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that I can
easily
carry my wallet and keys, one side pocket for the water bottle and two compartments
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that I can arrange clothes and other things
properly
. It should be waterproof to protect my belongings from rain and water.
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IELTS essay Discuss about a bag you want to carry. Where you want to buy, how much it will cast you and why you want this kind of bag?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
200 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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