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Discuss a significant experience influenced your life

Discuss a significant experience influenced your life lLb5b
At the moment, in my small peaceful room, I still remember the first time feelings about going out of my province-Phu Yen. My feelings at the time was uninmaginable. My feelings was very happy and exhilarant. I embarked on my journey – the most intelligence students in high my school was took to Ha Noi Capital to exchange academic activities. Since I was born and grow teenager, I haven’t been out of my province; therefor, I felt the world outsides glittering and magnificent through television, mobile phone, and computer. However, I spent half a month on my journey without my parents so that my mind was very nervous. After countless sleepless nights, My mom took me to school by scooter. My mom could not go to airport with me, beacuse she was very occupied her works. One by one my friends, in return, went to airport on time with our relatives, they talked all together for a while and say goodbye to half a month apart before journey. That moment made me so unhappy, but I encourage myself to be more resilient and stronger. Before boarding the plane, we took beautiful and memorial pictures with my teacher. After a long haul flight from Phu Yen province to Ha Noi Capital, my friends and I got off the plane. We were astonished Tan San Nhat airport in Ha Noi Capital, which has a large amout of planes’branches in over the world. The airpot was a overwhelming beauty and magnificent scenery. The sky was a perfect pink, gradually change a dark colour. My friends and I were inspired by the dusk sky in strange place. The temperature in there was much lower than my hometown. Fortunately, I wore two T-shirt, sweater and scaft to keep warm. We meet new friends from different provinces, communicative with dialects, and exchange academic knowledge. Besides, We talked extremely enthusiastically together about subjects: hobby, food, sport, hometown, school, and so on. Ha Noi Capital is the hustle and bustle city, which atracts young people to come and find opportunities to work. Because it brings a larger amount of jobs compare with our hometown. Once in a blue moon, I see the swift flow of vehicles in the steets and traffic jams many times per day. Honestly, this place is completely different from my hometown. In addition, we discovered buildings, historical sites, pagodas, and so on. Especially, Most of people in Viet Nam want to go there, which is the mausoleum of Uncle Ho. It was a place where we revered for bravery and sarcrified of a Viet Nam Revolutionary leader and President – Ho Chi Minh. We took photographs, enjoyed the moment on the street with sparkling lights, talked to foreigners and participated in musical show. Importantly, for our group of students, the most favourite thing are books; therefor, we visited a number of popular bookstores in Ha Noi. We went around the bookstore looking for specialized books about majors. I was emphasized by a plethora of books in there. Becasue I don’t think that books are much harder than those of my hometown. Actually, I want to buy most of books for my friends as the presents. So I feel that travels broaden the mind. In the end, I returned my province in order to study and pass my test, which is chosen fourty students in the most intelligent students in Viet Nam. This moment is an unforgettable memory. The journey takes advantages me to exchange academic knowledge, communicate with people, visit heritages and hang out with my friends, which made me social, gregarious and understand the world outside. My mind is always try to learn more knowledge. I hope in the furture, I wil come back in Ha Noi capital or go abroad to study university.
At the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
moment
, in my
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
peaceful room, I
still
remember the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
feelings about going out of my
Possible spelling mistake found.
province-Phu
Yen. My feelings at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
was
Possible spelling mistake found.
uninmaginable
. My feelings
You should probably use: "were".
was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
happy and
Possible spelling mistake found.
exhilarant
. I embarked on my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
journey
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
the most intelligence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in high my school was
Consider using a past participle here: "taken".
took
to Ha
Possible spelling mistake found.
Noi
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Capital
to exchange academic activities. Since I
was born
and grow
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
, I haven’t been out of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
province
; therefor, I felt the world outsides glittering and magnificent through television, mobile phone, and computer.
However
, I spent half a month on my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
journey
without my parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that my mind was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
nervous.

After countless sleepless nights, My mom
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
took
me to school by scooter. My mom could not go to airport with me,
Possible spelling mistake found.
beacuse
she was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
occupied her works. One by one my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
, in return, went to airport on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with our relatives, they talked all together for a while and say goodbye to half a month apart
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
journey
. That
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
moment
made me
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
unhappy,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I encourage myself to be more resilient and stronger.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
boarding the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plane
, we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
took
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
and memorial pictures with my teacher.

After a long haul flight from
Possible spelling mistake found.
Phu
Yen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
province
to Ha
Possible spelling mistake found.
Noi
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Capital
, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
off the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plane
. We
were astonished
Tan San
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nhat
airport in Ha
Possible spelling mistake found.
Noi
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Capital
, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
has
a large
Possible spelling mistake found.
amout
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
planes
’branches in over the world. The
Possible spelling mistake found.
airpot
was
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
overwhelming beauty and magnificent scenery. The sky was a perfect pink,
gradually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
a dark
Possible spelling mistake. 'colour' is British English.
colour
. My
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
and I
were inspired
by the dusk sky in strange place. The temperature in there was much lower than my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hometown
.
Fortunately
, I wore two T-shirt, sweater and
Possible spelling mistake found.
scaft
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
warm. We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provinces
, communicative with dialects, and exchange academic knowledge.
Besides
, We talked
extremely
enthusiastically
together about subjects: hobby, food, sport,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hometown
, school, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. Ha
Possible spelling mistake found.
Noi
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Capital
is the hustle and bustle city, which
Possible spelling mistake found.
atracts
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
and find opportunities to work.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
it brings a larger amount of jobs
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "compares"? (Some collective nouns can be treated as both singular and plural, so 'compare' is not always incorrect.)
compare
with our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hometown
. Once in a blue moon, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the swift flow of vehicles in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
steets
and traffic jams
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
per day.
Honestly
, this place is completely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from my hometown.

In addition
, we discovered buildings, historical sites, pagodas, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
Especially
, Most of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Viet
Nam want to go there, which is the mausoleum of Uncle Ho. It was a place where we revered for bravery and
Possible spelling mistake found.
sarcrified
of a
Possible spelling mistake found.
Viet
Nam Revolutionary leader and President
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
Ho Chi Minh. We
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
took
photographs, enjoyed the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
moment
on the street with sparkling lights, talked to foreigners and participated in musical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
.
Importantly
, for our group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, the most
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
thing are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
; therefor, we visited a number of popular bookstores in Ha
Possible spelling mistake found.
Noi
. We went around the bookstore looking for specialized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
about majors. I
was emphasized
by a plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
in there.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Becasue
I don’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
are much harder than those of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hometown
. Actually, I want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
for my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
as the presents.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
I feel that travels broaden the mind.

In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
, I returned my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
province
in order to study and pass my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
, which
is chosen
Possible spelling mistake found.
fourty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in the most intelligent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Viet
Nam. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
moment
is an unforgettable memory. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
journey
takes advantages me to exchange academic knowledge, communicate with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, visit heritages and hang out with my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
, which made me social, gregarious and understand the world outside. My mind is always
Consider using a past participle here: "tried".
try
to learn more knowledge. I hope in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
furture
, I
Possible spelling mistake found.
wil
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
back in Ha
Possible spelling mistake found.
Noi
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
capital
or go abroad to study university.
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IELTS essay Discuss a significant experience influenced your life

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
631 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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