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disadvantges of consumerism

disadvantges of consumerism VwRom
Another advantage of consumerism, because of the production of lots of goods, it also needs the right number of workers which reduces the unemployment rate and helps people get jobs to improve their life problems. For example, after the Covid-19 pandemic, Bao Vina company in Binh Duong had to hire a lot of employees because the number of orders was too much. Therefore, it gives people in my hometown jobs that are able to solve problems during the outbreak.
Another advantage of consumerism,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the production of lots of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
, it
also
needs the right number of workers which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
the unemployment rate and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
jobs to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their life problems.
For example
, after the Covid-19 pandemic,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Bao
Possible spelling mistake found.
Vina
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Binh
Possible spelling mistake found.
Duong
had to hire
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
employees
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the number of orders was too much.
Therefore
, it gives
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in my hometown jobs that are able to solve problems during the outbreak.
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IELTS essay disadvantges of consumerism

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
79 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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